82. OS: Finding Khushi (Part 19, Section 2 onwards)

Part 19 Section 2

Lisa was a few metres away from ASR and Chamkili when the lights went out. Lisa stumbled and flayed her arms, managing to give a black eye to some unsuspecting male in her way. In between many ‘ouch’es and ‘sorry’s, Lisa managed to find her feet.

The spotlight shone on ASR & Chamkili. Lisa watched in disgust as ASR put his arm around that freak’s shoulders, pulling her closer in to the hold. She grit her teeth. The look on ASR’s face, the concern, the care…… No other girl had gotten all that from him. Not even her!

Lisa  took a step forward, her high heel crushing some poor guy's foot. But she was too late.

NK and Akash had grabbed the mike.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, please udhar me your kaans.”, NK started.

“We would like to dedicate this evening to two special people, Arnav Singh Raizada, and the love of his life, Khushi Kumari Gupta!”, Akash announced. Payal looked at her husband with pride in her eyes.

“We are dedicating a slow number to them. It is an old song, but a beautiful one.”, NK smiled.

“Bhai, Khushiji!”, Akash invited them to start the dancing. Anjali beamed in happiness as the hall resounded with applause, and Arnav led Khushi to the dance floor to the strains of

Chaahe tum kuchh na kaho, maine sun liya

Ke saathi pyaar ka, mujhe chun liya

Chun liya, maine sun liya…..

Arnav raised her left hand and placed it on his right shoulder, and caught hold of her right hand with his left.

Khushi looked into his eyes and smiled. The smile wavered slightly as his warm right hand clasped the bare expanse of her waist, and gently teased the tempting curve.

Khushi pouted at him. Arnavji knew very well that she couldn’t protest in front of such a crowd, and he was all out to take advantage of her helplessness. She would show him! 

Arnav smiled, a naughty light in his eyes.

Pehla nasha pehla khumaar, naya pyaar hai naya intezaar...

Kar lu main kya apana haal, aye dil-e-bekaraar,

Mere dil-e-bekaraar, tu hi bata...

Pehla nasha pehla khumaar…..

  

They swayed in time to the music, lost in their own world. It was like a dream, a moment stolen from real life. They were unaware of Akash & Payal, NK & Di, and other couples joining them on the dance floor.

Udata hi firoon inn hawaao mein kahi

Ya main jhul jaaun in ghataao mein kahi….

Arnav felt like a balloon, weightless, light, capable of floating away with the wind if his feet were not tethered. He pulled Khushi closer, and rested his forehead against hers, making Khushi shut her eyes in pleasure.

Ek kar du aasmaan jamin, kaho yaaro kya karu, kya nahi…

Arnav used his fingertips to tickle the sensitive skin of her waist. Khushi gasped and looked into his eyes. He looked back, an innocent air about him. Khushi pursed her lips. What was good for the lion was good for the lioness too!

Pehla nasha pehla khumaar, naya pyaar hai naya intezaar...

Kar lu main kya apana haal, aye dil-e-bekaraar,

Mere dil-e-bekaraar tu hi bata..

Pehla nasha pehla khumaar…..

Khushi let her left hand curl over his shoulder. She ran her fingers over the strong lines of his shoulders and down his back. Arnav shuddered in pleasure, unable to believe the power her innocent and simple touch had on him. Over the coat! His waistcoat… and his shirt! How would her touch feel if he were not draped in these ridiculous, unnecessary garments? He wished he could throw them off.....

Usne baat ki kuchh aise dhang se

Sapne de gaya woh hazaaron rang ke……

“Arnavji…”, she whispered. It felt so nice to touch him. And now she had the right to touch him as she willed. After all, he had been touching her here and there for months! And had she complained? No! So now he could shut his mouth and bear this! Khushi breathed deep in pleasure as she ran her fingers down his back, caressing his strained muscles lovingly.

Reh jaaun jaise main haar ke, aur chume woh mujhe pyaar se…

Arnav shuddered. He felt all hot and his limbs were none too steady…..

Khushi looked at him with concern. Why was Arnavji shivering? Was he sick?

“Are you alright, Arnavji? Are you feeling feverish? Should we go home?”, she asked in a whisper.

Arnav looked into her concerned and direct eyes. She had no idea of the destruction the simplest of her touches could wreck on his famed self-control.

Pehla nasha pehla khumaar, naya pyaar hai naya intezaar...

Kar lu main kya apana haal, aye dil-e-bekaraar,

Mere dil-e-bekaraar….

Arnav gave up all pretense of dancing, and pulled her gently into his arms. He bent his head and kissed her on her cheek that took on a rosy hue due to the gentle brush of his stubbly cheek against hers and her bashfulness. He breathed in her jasmine scent to his heart’s content, and relished in the galloping of her heart against his.

They were totally unaware of many AR employees watching them with open mouths and shocked eyes.

Meeya baby, did you think I forgot?

Part 19, Section 3

Lisa grit her teeth at the sight of ASR & Chamkili leaving the dance floor to thunderous applause. A lady in a golden sari was hugging them both, and Akash Singh Raizada and the clown with him were congratulating the pair. The behenji in green and pink sari was wiping away her tears of joy!

She watched ASR lead the girl to a secluded corner of the room, and walked up to them. After all, she had to greet the lovebirds and congratulate them!

“Arnavji! I think Pamji and Simji will have a heart attack if you smile at me like this.”, Khushi whispered.

“Like what?”, he murmured, his smiling eyes devouring her, his full attention on Khushi.

“ASR!”, Lisa purred.

Arnav turned around, frowning at the disturbance.

Lisa launched herself into his arms, kissing him on his cheek.

Arnav blinked in shock, and pulled away at the earliest. He looked at the model with disconcerted eyes.

“Err…..”, He struggled to drag his mind from Khushi to the issue at hand. “Er…. Lisa? How are you?”

Lisa breathed in deep. “Missing you, ASR. You and your perfume! Both are unforgettable.”

Arnav stole a glance at Khushi. She had taken a step back, and her face looked terrified, visions of Lisa’s wild cat fury and animal-like screech at the sight of her ruined fur coat flashing through her mind.

 She was too upset to take in the model’s words. Arnav breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly took Khushi’s hand, and pressed it. Khushi gulped.

“It has been a long time, ASR. We should really catch up! What do you say to dinner tonight?”, Lisa crooned.

“I am otherwise occupied, Lisa. Sorry.”, Arnav said casually. “Excuse us.”, He turned to lead Khushi away from there at the earliest.

“Who is this? She looks familiar…”, Lisa’s voice trailed off.

Arnav & Khushi were trapped. Introductions were in order.

“Khushi Kumari Gupta.”, Arnav said. “We are getting married in 5 months.” His words were a warning to Lisa, a warning she chose to ignore.

“Chamkili? The girl who ran errands in your office? The one who demolished my fur coat?”, Lisa pretended surprise and shock. “You are going to MARRY….. HER?”

“Yes.” He was short with her.

“Well, well, wonders will never cease…….”, Lisa murmured, looking Khushi up and down. “ASR going slumming….”, she smirked.

“Lisa, mind your words.” His voice send a chill down Khushi and Lisa’s spines. 

Pam & Sim, who were watching the confrontation, swallowed nervously. La had left India, and was of no further use to them. That was why they had used Lisa who was made of temper and arrogance, and all things nasty.

“I will, I will.”, Lisa smiled with her lips. “After all, we are old friends. And I should wish you well, shouldn’t I?”

“I won’t trouble you by expecting it of you. Enjoy the party.”, ASR drawled. He led Khushi away to more congenial company.

“Lisaji is very angry with me, Arnavji! Because she thinks I damaged her fur coat.”, Khushi whispered to Arnav as they walked away.

“She has no need to be. I know you didn’t destroy her coat. Pam & Sim did. It is on the CCTV footage.”, Arnav said, curling her hand more firmly around his arm. “And Lisa received a cheque from AR Designs covering the cost of her coat.”

“YOU paid her?”, Khushi whispered in shock.

“Hhmm…”, said Arnav.

Later that night, Anjali, Payal, & Khushi went to the Ladies’ to brush their hair to perfection, check on their make-up, and to sit down on the plush chairs for a moment to rest their feet. They were giggling, having had a lovely time that evening so far, dancing and spending time with Arnav, Akash, & NK.

Arnav turned to speak to a guest, and Lisa slipped into the Ladies’ after the trio. 

Pam & Sim looked at each other in anticipation. Something was bound to happen. Lisa the witch, as she was known among the models, could be depended on to do harm and hurt feelings if and when she could.

Lisa looked around. There! Chamkili was standing in a corner, taking to the upstart Payal Singh Raizada and ASR’s sister. 

As she watched, Payal turned away to answer a call on her phone. And ASR’s sister walked away, limping towards one of the rooms attached to the Ladies’ where guests could check their clothing.

Khushi was about to find a chair, when she heard a hiss, “Chamkili!”

She turned around, startled.

Lisa, the proverbial snake was standing behind her.

Khushi gulped.

“So you have made good, haven’t you? Came to Delhi without a stitch on your back and now you are making money on your back? Very good! Very smart! Very… very enterprising of you.”, Lisa smiled, her eyes glittering with hatred and jealousy.

How could people make money on their back?, Khushi wondered. Maybe Lisaji meant that she had worked very hard. Back-breaking work! Like the kind she did in the godown entering years of cereal sales and purchase details into spreadsheets. Yes! That must have been what Lisaji meant. Khushi smiled uncertainly at her.

“Make the most of your time with ASR.”, Lisa said.

Khushi nodded, smiling slightly. She would treasure every moment of their lives together. After all, they would get only 50-60 years together!

“Because it won’t last. It will be over in the blink of an eye!”, Lisa added, her bitter eyes burning into Khushi’s.

Khushi frowned. How could 50-60 years be over in the blink of an eye?

“La found that out to her cost when you caught ASR’s eye. I found that out when La caught ASR’s roving eye.”, Lisa said, her teeth white in the sharp light.

Khushi stared at Lisaji. What was she saying? Had Lisaji drunk too much daru? What had Lavanyaji to do with all this? Roving eye? How could an eye rove? This Lisaji was so funny!

Lisa sighed inwardly. Apparently Lucknow produced idiots. Sly innuendos were wasted on Chamkili. Only hard blows would register in her scatty brain. Lisa looked around. ASR’s sister and Payal Raizada would be coming to them any moment. She had no time to waste.

“I was ASR’s girl friend before La.”, she said bluntly.

Khushi stared at her, her eyes wide open in shock.

Finally! Lisa almost did a victory dance in her relief.

“Who do you think took me to Paris? And bought me the fur coat that you damaged beyond repair?”, Lisa asked, smirking.

Khushi could not even swallow. Her mouth felt dry, and she clenched her shaking fingers in the red skirt of her lehenga.

Lisa smiled. It was time to turn the knife.

“We had great fun together.”, Lisa claimed. “He is a great kisser, isn’t he?” Lisa looked as though lost in pleasant memories of the past. “And an inventive lover.”

Khushi stared at her, feeling her face flush and her ears heat up.

 Lisa smiled at Khushi with pity in her eyes. “How long will you hold him, I wonder. Especially with his penchant for fashionable & experienced girls.”

Khushi looked at Lisa, unable to move, like a mouse fascinated by the snake that was approaching it to kill it.

Images of Arnavji kissing Lisaji like he kissed her filled her mind. She felt sick. Her stomach churned, and she felt dizzy.

Lisa saw Payal approaching Chamkili. She had to leave now.

“Anyway, my condolences on your coming marriage!”, Lisa said. She turned and walked away on her high heels.

Payal came up to Khushi, smiling. “Akashji wants to know how much longer we will be in here.”

“You go out, Jiji. I need to use the bathroom.”, Khushi whispered. She made her way to a stall, and closed the door after her. Just in time. She threw up in the closet, hanging on to the window ledge with pale fingers. After retching till she had no more energy to retch, she flushed, washed her mouth and face, lowered the seat cover, and then collapsed on the toilet seat, her hands and legs trembling, her chest hurting, her eyes filled with tears.

Lisaji had been Arnavji’s girl friend. Like Lavanyaji. But before Lavanyaji’s term. And there must have been other women before Lisaji.

She saw herself lying on her bed in Gomti Sadan, with Arnavji leaning over her… his lips slowly coming closer to hers…. pressing down on hers…… Many other women must have seen the same scene too. From the same angle. Of Arnav Singh Raizada leaning towards them to kiss them. Khushi shut her eyes to push away the pictures from her mind, but…. 

And she had trembled in pleasure at the feel of his lips against hers. As many other women must have done before her… Lisaji… Lavanyaji……

Khushi buried her face in her hands, feeling tears slide down her pale cheeks. She was sweating profusely. She wet her hands and wiped her face and neck. The tears continued to fall.

She had known that Lavanyaji had been Arnavji’s girl friend, but hadn’t known what girl friends and boy friends did together. Now that she had an idea, the very thought of Arnavji with other women was revolting…..

But what right did she have to be so upset? 

Lisaji and Lavanyaji had been in his life before she had entered it. A picture of Lavanyaji straightening Arnavji’s tie in his office the night she had spent in the carpark in the rain flashed through her mind. She swallowed a big ball of pain and tears lodged in her throat.

She had no right to feel upset, Khushi told herself, drying her eyes, pushing away images of Lavanyaji hugging Arnavji. Before Lavanyaji, it had been Lisaji’s turn to hug Arnavji. Oh… that’s why she mentioned his perfume…. Khushi joined the dots. Tears filled her eyes again.

Lisaji had been angry with her not for the coat, but for stealing Arnavji away from her, as she saw it. Khushi sighed, wiping away the steady stream of tears.

And Arnavji….. How could he talk to Lisaji as though she were a stranger after kissing her and… and… doing things that girl friends and boy friends did? How could he say goodbye to Lavanyaji as though she didn’t matter?

She would never understand this world. Or pyaar. Or people. Or Arnavji. She was not just Sanki, as Buaji called her. She was Ajeeb. Totally clueless about this world. Totally, totally unfit to live in it. Khushi rubbed her chest. It hurt. 

And Devi Maiyya had to keep her alive when she had taken her parents away! If only she could have died with Amma & Babuji! It wouldn’t have hurt so much.

“Khushi…”, Payal knocked on the door. “There are just 10 minutes to midnight.”, she warned. “Arnavji, Akashji, & Nanheji must be waiting for us.”

“Khushiji, are you alright?”, Anjali’s anxious question filtered in through the stall door.

“Ji..ji…”, Khushi mumbled thickly. She flushed the closet to make it appear that she had been using the stall. 

“Are you alright, Khushiji?”, Anjali asked, putting an arm around Khushi. “You look pale and tired.”

“The heat…”, Khushi mumbled.

“And you must be hungry.”, Payal teased her.

Khushi tried to smile. She nodded her head, and said “And thirsty.”

Arnav, Akash, & NK were waiting for the ladies.

“Khushiji! Payal Bhabi! Di! It is time! It is going to be midnight!”, NK exclaimed, excited.

Arnav pulled Khushi close to him. “Khushi, you look pale. Are you alright?”

Khushi smiled with superhuman effort. Why spoil the night for all? “I am fine.” She avoided his sharp eyes trained on her face. “Just tired.”

“It will be over soon.”, he soothed in a loving tone as though she were a child. “We can go home in a few minutes.”

Khushi nodded, looking down at her lehenga, and straightening the hem, all to avoid his all-seeing eyes.

She looked at the lights, the balloons, the bar….. The ladies in glittering clothes & the men had all gathered to count to midnight.

“10.”, they shouted.

Khushi looked at the time displayed in great prominence, the smile painted on her face.

“9.”

Payal hugged her in excitement. Khushi smiled.

“8.”

Nanheji was smiling at her. She smiled back.

“7.”

Akash Jiju had his arm around Jiji. Khushi smiled.

“6.”

Anjali caught her hand and pressed her fingers, delirious with joy because all her brothers were happy and her Nani, Mami, & Mamaji were healthy and fine. And the new year would see Chotey and Khushiji’s marriage! 

Khushi smiled.

“5.”

“Just 5 seconds more!”, squealed Nanheji. Khushi smiled at him.

“4.” 

The ladies standing near her were jumping up and down in excitement. Khushi smiled.

“3.” 

She could feel Arnavji standing very close to her, the warmth of his body hitting her in waves. She tried to step away, taking care to keep the smile on her face.

“2.” 

Arnavji stepped near her, closing the distance she had created. Khushi drew in a deep breath, still smiling.

“1.” 

There was perfect silence for a second, and then there was cacophony. Men and women were hugging friends, acquaintances, strangers, and co-workers and shouting ‘Happy New Year!’ in excitement.

Khushi closed her eyes as she felt Arnavji’s face coming closer to hers. His lips touched the pale skin of her chubby cheek. “Happy New Year, Khushi.”, he whispered.

Khushi’s lips trembled as she smiled and wished him, “Happy New Year, Arnavji.”

“This year is going to be phenomenal, Khushi. The best year of our lives.”, Arnav whispered, his lips touching the lobe of her ear.

Khushi smiled.

Part 19, Section 4

Arnav looked at Khushi’s pensive face as he drove her home.

“Kya hua, Khushi?”, he asked.

“Just tired.”, Khushi said, a smile on her lips.

He brought the car to a stop in front of her house.

“Are you sure you are alright, Khushi?”, he asked, releasing the door lock.

“Ji.”, she whispered. “I need to go in.” She made to unlock her door. She needed to get into the house fast, before the flood of tears broke the weak dam of her control holding it back.

Arnav caught hold of her arm.

“Khushi, you enjoyed the party, didn’t you?”, he asked. “Our dance…”

“Ji. It is just that….. just that I am not used to staying up so late….”, her voice trailed away, tired of finding excuses.

Arnav smiled, his eyes twinkling naughtily. He leaned close to her and whispered in her ear, “Get used to it, Khushi. Don’t think I will let you sleep after we are married.”

Khushi paled further, if that were possible. The gulf between them, between knowledge and ignorance, widened. Lisaji's malicious face seemed to be laughing at her.....

Khushi pushed open her door, and leaped out of it. Hiding her face from Arnav, she ran up the steps to Buaji’s door, took the key from its hiding place, and opened the door with shaking fingers and moist eyes.

Arnav watched her do her vanishing act, and felt a smile bloom on his face. It felt so good to tease her! the smile slowly vanished. Why was she so silent? So.. so sad? So defeated in her posture?

Buaji waddled into Khushi’s bedroom at 10 in the morning. She was still asleep, curled up in her blanket. Only the top of her head was visible.

“Hai Re Nandkisore! Still asleep! He Titliyaa! What is the use of welcoming a new year in at night when you are not awake to enjoy the first day of new year in the morning, hein?”, she asked.

Khushi lay motionless under the blanket.

Her mobile rang.

“O Sanka Devi! Your phoone is crying early in the morning! Feed it something!”, Buaji teased her.

But Khushi was asleep.

“She is Kumbhkarna’s sister, Nandkisore, not Payaliyya’s!”, Buaji grumbled as she picked up the phone.

‘Arnavji’, the display read.

“So this owl has woken up early!”, Buaji commented as she answered the call. “Arnav Babua, your roop ki rani is snoring away in her kambal. I will call her….”, Buaji pulled the blanket off.

Khushi shivered, curling up like a foetus.

Buaji frowned. She touched Khushi’s cheek to wake her up, and jumped back in shock.

“She has fever, Nandkisore!”, Buaji gasped. “Garima, bring a basin of water and a towel. Titliyaa has fever.”

“Buaji….!”, Arnav’s voice was faint.

“Oh.. Arnav babua, Khussi has fever…”, Buaji started.

“I will come over now with a doctor.”, Arnav declared before cutting the call.

Khushi felt someone poke her with a needle, but she was too tired to react. She just winced and continued sleeping. She did not see the man with anxious eyes hovering over her, adjusting the blanket around her, wiping her face and neck with a towel dipped in cold water…….

She woke up in the evening. She opened heavy eyelids to see Arnavji sitting by her, looking at her, holding her hand. She looked away. It hurt to look at him.

What was he doing here?, she frowned.

 She looked around. It was evening, and she was in her bedroom. He should be in his office……

She parted her lips to ask him, but her questions remained unvoiced. Her mouth felt dry and her tongue thick.

“Khushi….”, Arnav whispered in relief. “How do you feel now?” His palm cupped her face, and he bent to drop a kiss on her forehead.

The fever was gone for the present, but her limbs felt heavy, as though concrete blocks were tied to them.

“Bathroom…”, Khushi whispered. "Please call Amma.."

"I will help you.", Arnav offered. 

Khushi tried to push his hands away, but she was too weak. And her head hurt. A night of crying had left her bleary-eyed, and the fever was not helping any.

He helped her sit up, supporting her shoulders so that she could rise and lean against him. He held her for a moment, her heart beating against his, taking comfort from the strong beat, and then he stood up.

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the bedroom to the bathroom.

Buaji & Amma, cooking a light meal for Khushi and dinner for Arnav, stared at the sight with wide eyes.

He set her down near the bathroom door, and made to help her inside.

“I will manage.”, she whispered. If only he would go home and leave her alone!

Arnav let go of her reluctantly.

Khushi wobbled into the bathroom, holding on to the door handle and the walls.

Arnav waited outside.

Khushi came out after freshening up to see Arnavji leaning against the wall. He quickly scooped her up and carried her to her bed. He settled her in her bed, and wrapped the blanket around her.

“Khushi, how do you feel now?”, he asked.

“Better.”, she said, hoping to send him on his way. 

Arnav sat down by her.

“What are you doing here, Arnavji?”, she asked.

“Where else should I be, Khushi, when you are sick?”, he asked frowning.

“At the office.”, Khushi whispered, feeling sleep overtake her. She struggled to keep her eyes open.

“The office can go to hell.”, muttered Arnav, dropping a kiss on her cheek.

“Don’t let Amanji hear you say so. He will die of shock.”, she whispered.

Arnav smiled, and lifted her hand for a kiss.

It took three days before Khushi could leave her bed and hope not to fall down in a heap. Arnav came early every morning and stayed till late, sitting by her bed, working on his laptop, his eyes lingering on her sleeping face, pale and wan from her illness.

On the fourth day, she was up and sitting at the dining table when he came in the morning. Buaji was trying to force a glass of milk with turmeric in it down her throat.

“Hum kahe det he, Sanka Devi, dooth piyo. Nahin to maar khaogii!”, Buaji threatened, standing over her.

“Buaji! I don’t want milk…”, Khushi whined.

“I will give it to her, Buaji!”, Arnav said as he slid in to the seat next to Khushi.

Buaji, Amma, & Babuji smiled in relief at seeing him. 

Khushi sighed. Arnavji was going nowhere. The faster she was out of this house, the better it would be for her peace of mind. She needed to think. About Arnavji, about herself, about their future… But how could she think when every time she opened her eyes, Arnavji was sitting by her?

Arnav lifted the glass to her lips. 

Khushi glared at him, and was about to refuse when she saw that he was dressed in formal clothes. He Devi Maiyya! Thank you!, she said in her mind. He was going to the office. Finally.

And he would go faster if she drank the milk quickly. To everyone’s shock and Arnav’s amusement, Khushi grabbed the glass from his hand and gulped it down in one breath.

“Hai Re Nandkisore! What is wrong with this girl?”, exclaimed Buaji.

“She cares for Arnav Babua so much, Jiji!”, Garima gushed, smiling at Buaji.

Khushi shot daggers at her mother and a smiling Arnav Babua, but wisely kept her tongue firmly in her mouth, under the painful hold of her teeth.

“You are going to the office, babua?”, asked Buaji.

“Ji.”, said Arnav.

“Good, good. You have been sitting by Sanka Devi for the past 3 days. It is a miracle that you are not sick, Nandkisore!”, Buaji said. “The new year hasn’t been good for Titliyaa…”, Buaji frowned. “She is never sick… How come she caught fever at the party…? Bitwaa, did she eat or drink something…?”

“No, Buaji. We were all together all the time.”, Arnav reassured her. Looking at a silent Khushi, he added, “She was silent towards the end of the party. I asked her what was wrong, but…..”

Buaji & Amma nodded. All looked at Khushi, waiting for an explanation.

“I..I need to sleep…”, Khushi muttered. She got up to leave the table.

“Khushi…”, Arnav called.

“I am OK, Arnavji. Let me sleep for a while.”, she almost pleaded.

Arnav nodded.

Part 19 Section 5

Arnav looked at the display of his phone, frown lines marring his forehead.

Khushi was not answering any of his calls. Whenever he went to see her, she was out. The time he went to her godown, she had gone to the bank in place of Munshiji. This had been going on for 3 days now, and he was fed up.

What was happening here?

Had something happened at the party?, he wondered frantic with worry. He had dissected every moment they had shared, their dance, her laughter, the glow in her eyes…. He could swear that she had been happy. But sometime around midnight, her face had become pale, she had started avoiding his eyes……

He had asked Di & Payal, but they had been clueless too. 

Now what? 

Fear of losing her made him walk up and down the length of his room, his heart racing, his palms sweating…. He looked at the phone again.

“Buaji, is Khushi there?”

“No, Bitwaa…..”, Buaji started.

“Buaji, she is not answering my calls. She…”

“Bitwaa, she has gone to the temple. Oo kaa he, Nandkisore, a sant has come there. He is giving a discourse on Ramayan, and Khussi has gone to listen to him. Acha he, Nandkisore! It will get some sense into her sanki bheja!”, Buaji laughed.

Arnav closed his eyes in weariness.

“Buaji, will you please tell her that I will meet her tonight? I have a meeting now. I can't get out of it. It will be late when it gets over, but I will come to meet her…”

“Did you have something to eat, Bitwaa?”, Buaji asked anxiously. 

“I will grab something, Buaji. I will see you tonight.”

“Theek he, Nandkisore.”, Buaji said as she cut the call.

“Kaun tha, Jiji?”, Garima asked.

“Arnav babua. He will come late tonight to see Titliyaa.”, Buaji said. 

Garima nodded, smiling.

“I asked him if he had something to eat, Garima. And babua said that he will ‘grab’ something to eat.”, Buaji frowned. “Why should he ‘grab’ something to eat, Garima? Isn’t there enough food in his office canteen? Do they have to fight for food, Nandkisore?” Buaji rolled her big eyes.

Khushi sat at the far end of the crowd in the hall, leaning against the wall, listening to the elderly sant recount Lord Rama’s stay in the forest with Seeta and Laxmana, and the abduction of Seeta by Ravana.

She shut her eyes, rested her head against the wall, and let her mind dwell on the problem at hand. She needed to think, and there was no better place to do it. She needed to sort out her mind, find a solution to the khichdi her life had become… And she needed wise counsel. And there was no better place for all three.

Lavanyaji had been Arnavji’s girlfriend. That was one fact Khushi was sure of. And he had packed her off once he realised that he liked Khushi. That was another fact that she could not refute.

Had Lisaji too been Arnavji’s girlfriend? Or was Lisaji lying? She had no idea.

Had Arnavji thrown Lisaji away once his eyes had fallen on Lavanyaji? Khushi frowned. If Arnavji had done so, he couldn’t really be blamed. Lisaji was very temperamental and unbearable at times while Lavanyaji was very sweet. But still….

Would his fascination for Khushi change into indifference one day, and would he leave her as he had left Lavanyaji? Would he regret having married her?

Khushi hid her face in the arms she had crossed on her bended knees.

The sant said, “Lord Rama returned to the cottage to find Seeta Maiyya missing. Anxious about her whereabouts and safety, he asked Laxmana, “Where is the Vaidehi who abandoned her palace and family and accompanied me to the forest to live the life of a wanderer? Without whom I cannot live even for a moment? Laxmana, where is your sister who is the daughter of the deities and my life-force? Where is she?”

Arnavji had called her many times, tried to see her many times. But… but she had run away from him every time. Not answering his calls. Spending the evenings in temples, going for a movie with Preetho, taking Chinnu and Meetu out to the park…… 

It had been three days since she had seen him. Her heart ached. She had thought that the week without Arnavji in Lucknow had been torture. But this was worse. Heartwrenchingly worse. Nights without sleep. Days without peace of mind. Her head had been filled with images. Of Lisaji and Arnavji. Of Lavanyaji and Arnavji. No, not Arnavji. ASR. The man with a sharp tongue that could make lacerations in your skin when he stripped you bare of your dignity…. 

But he had changed now. He had changed a lot. He never spoke cuttingly to her. If she so much as winced, he felt the pain….. Could this love be all in her imagination? Was it so weak that a pretty face and short clothes could make him forget that he loved Khushi?

“I don’t have the ambition to rule the heavens or  the earth, Lakshmana, without the daughter of Janaka, my soul mate by my side.”

The way in which he had cried in her arms, talked of his past and his parents, the way in which his stern face had slowly relaxed into a more happy one… Could all these be in her imagination?

“If Seeta, the princess from Videha, does not greet me with a smile on my arrival at the hermitage, Oh, Lakshmana, I really will breathe my last.”

The way he had looked after her when she was sick, carried her to the bathroom, sponged her down……

“Then he went around the hermitage, saying 'Yes, this is that place where she used to pluck flowers.' And then, 'Yes, this is the place where she used play with deer, squirrels, and birds.' ‘This is the very place where she offered her daily prayers.' Finally on realising that the cottage did not hold his Seeta, that his wife, his soul mate had indeed been taken away from him, Lord Rama fell into deep despair.”

Khushi felt her eyes fill with tears. They fell down in fat drops, wetting her green sari. She kept her face firmly hidden in her arms. She had to admit, at least to herself, that she loved him. More than life. A life without him in it… She couldn’t bear to think of it. Death was better.

“Vaidehi who is dearer to me than all my lives, if only she were alive somewhere, Laxmana!”

And maybe Arnavji loved her too. No, not maybe. Arnavji did love her. Now. Not in the beginning when they met. But he did love her now. Could he forget this love and move on to another woman later?

 “Oh, Lakshmana, if death has already taken her out of this hermitage, then I too will give up my live here.”

Could she marry him and live with him, fearing to draw breath fully lest he leave her for another woman? Look at each model or employee in his firm as a potential threat? Live in anxiety all her life? Wonder all her life if Lisaji had spoken the truth?

No, no, she needed to know the truth. How ever bitter and painful it was. Running away from unpleasantness had never helped her. It had never brought her parents back. And hiding her head under the sand would never help her live in peace with Arnavji. It was better to know.

She would have to ask him. There was no more doubt in her mind. She couldn't stay away from Arnavji and live a half-life far away from him. If there was a chance that they could have a life together, she had to take it.

Khushi wiped her tears away, and lifted her head. The discourse had come to an end, and the sant was preparing for the aarti. All stood up, and sang the prayers for aarti. Along with the other ladies, Khushi too touched the feet of the holy man, and left the temple.

Happyji was waiting in his auto outside the temple.

“Happyji, can you take me to Arnavji’s office?”, she asked him.

“Kyon nahin, Khushiji?”, Happyji beamed. “How was the discourse?”

“Very enlightening, Happyji. I feel as though a burden has fallen off my shoulders.”, Khushi smiled.

Once they reached the office, Happy Singh said, “It is getting late, Khushiji. I will wait here for you. If Arnavji is going to drop you home, just give me a call. I will leave. Otherwise, I will take you home.”

“Ji.”, Khushi smiled her thanks.

Khushi walked into the office. It was late, but the office was a hive of activity. The staff were all busy, and Khushi looked around for a moment.

“Khushiji! Have you come to meet the boss?”, Aman asked her, smiling.

“Ji..”, Khushi blushed.

“He is a meeting with a team from the UK, but I can call him…”, Aman offered.

“No..no… Amanji, I will wait for him here.”, Khushi pointed to the tastefully decorated waiting room.

Aman smiled. “I will let him know as soon as the meeting gets over. Would you like something to drink or…?”

“No..no.. I am fine, Amanji.” Khushi sat down, waiting for Arnavji to appear.

Part 19 Section 6

Pam & Sim looked at Khushi sitting in the lounge.

“What do you think Lisa said to her?”, Pam asked her accomplice.

“No idea. But you can trust Lisa the witch to draw blood. Chamkili looked pale after the bathroom episode.”, Sim smiled.

Pam nodded but frowned. “But she is still here. I thought the bird would have flown far away by now. Wants to be Mrs. Arnav Singh Raizada, does she? We will make her Mrs Arnav Singh Raizada alright!”

Sim said with false pity, “Poor Chamkili!”

“Follow my lead. And keep an eye out for ASR.”, Pam warned.

Sim nodded, looking around nervously.

“Chamkili, are you here to see ASR?”, Pam asked.

Khushi looked up startled, and then smiled, “Ji.”

“He is in a meeting.”, said Sim sympathetically. “You will have to wait a while.”

“That’s alright.”, Khushi smiled.

Pam said, “Chamkili, we are sorry.”

Khushi looked at her in surprise.

“That day, during Lisa’s photoshoot….”, Pam hesitated.

Sim continued, “Please forgive us, Chamkili.”

Khushi frowned.

“The juice fell on the furcoat because of us. And you had to take the blame.”, Pam said, a contrite look on her face.

“It is alright.”, Khushi said.

“We were scared of losing our jobs…”, Sim said.

Khushi nodded.

“You know Lisa’s bad temper and bitchiness! Can you blame us for being scared of her?”, Pam asked.

Khushi smiled wanly.

“Her screech!”, Sim shuddered.

“And ASR always listens to her.”, Pam said. “She has a way of making men follow her like lambs, and ASR is no different.”, Pam complained. “Sim, do you remember the way she kicked up a fuss when ASR was late that day?”

Sim nodded. “You won’t believe this, Chamkili. ASR and Lisa were going away to spend the weekend together at his farm house, and ASR was late picking her up. He was in a meeting here, and she came here all furious and spitting fire. She shouted at everyone and made such a nuisance of herself that ASR had to leave the meeting room and come out to pacify her.”

Khushi swallowed her shock and grief, sitting frozen in her chair.

“And when ASR sent a big bouquet of red roses to her?”, Pam prompted Sim.

“You won’t believe this, Chamkili. She was so happy to get the bouquet that she came with it to the office, threw out the managers ASR was talking to, and hugged and kissed him in his office room!”, said Sim.

Khushi looked at her locked fingers, willing them not to tremble.

“I was unfortunate enough to knock on the door when they were kissing, and…” Pam held her hand to her heart. “The way she shouted at me! I still have nightmares about it.”

Khushi couldn’t sit there any longer. She made to get up.

Aman came to her rescue without knowing it. “Khushiji, I am sorry. The meeting will take another hour or more. Shall I let boss know that you are waiting?”

“No. No, Amanji. I will go home. It is getting late.”, Khushi managed to say.

Pam & Sim vanished from Aman’s presence like mist in sunlight.

Aman escorted Khushi to the door.

“Shall I arrange a car…?”

“No.. no.. It is very kind of you, but my rickshaw is waiting…”

Khushi went home, grateful for the darkness that hid her tears and her shivering body and Happyji’s undemanding company. She needed to talk to Arnavji. There was no other way out. But not before she had composed herself a little.

Khushi walked into her house to be greeted by Buaji.

“Lo aa gayi Sanka Devi! Why were you so long at the temple, Nandkisore? Were you planning to run away with the sant?”, Buaji teased her. “Was he handsome, Titliyaa? A competition for Arnav Bitwaa?”

Khushi smiled wanly.

“Anyway, it is good that you returned at least now, Nandkisore. Arnav Bitwaa called earlier to say that he will be coming here tonight. He has some meeting, and so will be late. But he will come for certain.”, Buaji declared.

Khushi took a deep breath. So he would come home tonight. Good. A lot needed to be said. And her room would give them the privacy to talk openly.

“I will wash and change clothes, Buaji, and then lie down for a while. I have a slight headache. If Arnavji comes, please ask him to come to my room.”

Dressed in her white suit, Khushi opened her box. In it was an album with photos of her parents, Jiji, & Buaji, pictures of Salman Khan and other actors and actresses, her school photos……. She opened it.

Dried red rose petals stared back at her. From the big bouquet Arnavji had sent her. Along with the card he had sent her.

Khushi blinked her tears away, and shut the album. She put it away in the box, and placed the box out of her sight.

Arnav left the conference hall and strode to his office. Finally! He was free to meet Khushi. He just had to get his coat & laptop bag…..

“Boss, Khushiji came to see you when you were in the meeting.”, Aman smiled.

Arnav stared at him in surprise, his heart leaping in anticipation.

“Why didn’t you call me?”, Arnav bit out furiously even though it was the rule in his office that nothing & no one should disturb ASR while he was in a meeting. Any employee who forgot the rule would find himself unemployed at the earliest.

Aman smiled. “I offered to do so, knowing that you wouldn’t mind. But Khushiji said that she would wait for you here.”

“Where is she?”, Arnav strode to the glass wall to look down, his eyes searching for one glimpse of her lovely face.

Aman smiled. “Ji, she waited for a long time and then went home.”

Arnav opened his mouth to blast Aman to the next world, but held his tongue. No harm was done. She would be at home, and he could spend time with her without being disturbed every few minutes by work issues.

Arnav nodded, and marched out of the room on quick feet.

Khushi heard Arnavji’s car halt outside her door.

He would be coming in any moment. She had to talk to him, tell him the truth, and listen to whatever he had to say. Without crying…..

No more tears, she told herself. The time for crying was over. Now it was the time to find out if Lisaji had been speaking the truth or not, if Pamji and Simji were lying… or not…..

She heard the low murmur of conversation between Buaji, Amma, & Arnavji. Her throat felt parched, her heart was threatening to race out of her rib cage, and her palms were wet with sweat.

She had to be dignified. Act her age. She had to know if their marriage stood a chance, if it had a future…. It was a matter of life and death… for her…. She was done running away.

Arnavji appeared in her doorway.

“Khushi…. Aman told me you waited for me today evening…”

Khushi drank in Arnavji’s form. He looked exhausted, slight grooves of weariness bracketing his lips, a frown on his forehead…..

He strode into the room, unable to stay away from her a moment longer. He pulled her off the bed and into his arms.

“Khushi…Khushi… Don’t stay away from me, Khushi… I can’t… I can’t take it…”, he whispered into her ear.

Her self talk proved worthless. Tears filled her eyes and gushed down her cheeks. She pulled him harder into her arms and sobbed her heart out.

“Arnavji…. Arnavji….”, she whispered in between sobs.

“Khushi… don’t cry, Khushi… Khushi…”, he murmured as he rubbed her back to soothe her.

Khushi sobbed harder, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

“Khushi, you will fall sick… Khushi, don’t cry….. Khushi, why are you crying?”, Arnav asked, feeling his heart ache along with hers.

Part 19 Section 7

Khushi sobbed into his neck, clutching his shoulders for dear life. Days of pain and anguish made her wail despite her resolution not to cry and to be reasonable.

“Khushi… please don’t cry…”, Arnav rubbed her back. “Please… please…. Khushi…”

Arnav pulled her closer into his hold. Khushi tightened her arms around him too, matching him in her desperation to hold on. Their hearts beat against each other, the sorrow of the past few days adding to their desperation.

 “She said…. she said…. you will leave me …. and go away… with another woman…”, Khushi struggled to draw breath through the sobs racking her frail body.

“What the…!”, he whispered, shock taking the sound from the exclamation. “I will never leave you, Khushi. Never. How can I leave you?”, he asked, a frown on his forehead.

“She said that…. that… you like fashionable girls… with many boy friends….”, Khushi sobbed.

“What?”, Arnav asked, confused. “Who?”

“Lisaji.” Her chest heaved, struggling to draw breath into her lungs.

“Lisa?”, Arnav was more confused than before. “Khushi….”, he asked.

“She said at the party that….. that s..she was your g..girl friend b..before La..Lavanyaji…”, Khushi hiccuped.

“So?”, Arnav asked, confused.

“Pamji …and S…simji too said…”, Khushi stammered.

“Pam & Sim are in this too?”, Arnav asked her softly. “Then we need to discuss this at length. Khushi, sit down.” 

Arnav helped her on to bed. He sat by her, close to her, and took out his kerchief. He wiped her face clean, pocketed the slip of cloth, and cupped her face.

“Khushi, do you love me?”, he asked.

Khushi looked at him with startled eyes. 

What was the use of hiding her heart when she was bleeding for him and dying inside every moment for him?

“Hum aapse bohoth pyaar karte he.”, she whispered, her lashes falling over her beautiful eyes in shyness. She had never said this to any man.

“I love you, Khushi. I never thought I would ever say it to any woman. I never thought that such a feeling existed. I thought it was just sentimental nonsense… the crap that poets write about… just rubbish…. But it is not. It is real. It happens. And I am glad it happened to me. And I am glad it is you I am in love with.”

Khushi looked into his earnest eyes.

“I have no life without you, Khushi. I can’t imagine not seeing you, talking to you, seeing you smile, watching you as you spread love and happiness where ever you go….. I .. I can’t imagine being alone anymore, Khushi. Without you Khushi, I …I would rather die.“ His husky voice faltered as he opened his heart to her.

Khushi threw her arms around him, holding him close to her, feeling like his mother and his wife, wanting to keep him safe from all pain and sorrow.

Arnav settled her back against the headboard.

“Khushi, we need to get to the bottom of this. Tell me everything that happened, right from the start. Don’t leave a word out.”, he instructed.

Khushi nodded.

“Anjaliji, Jiji, & I went to the bathroom at the party.”, she started. 

Arnav nodded. She had been fine till then. Happy, blooming…. What had that witch Lisa told her?

“Jiji went away to answer Jiju’s phone call. Anjaliji went to make sure that her sari was OK. I was about to sit down when Lisaji called me…”

Arnav’s eyes traced the distress on her face. He caught hold of her hand, and rubbed her palm gently with his fingers to comfort her. She curled her fingers around his.

“She said that it was smart of me to make good in Delhi after coming here from Lucknow without a stitch on my back…… Arnavji, how can I travel to Delhi from Lucknow without clothes?”, Khushi asked him, confused.

Arnav swallowed.

“She said that I was making money on my back…. How can people make money on their back? Did she mean I was working very hard, doing back-breaking work?”, Khushi asked, frowning at him.

“No, Khushi. But don’t worry about her words. She doesn’t know you. Then what did she say?”, Arnav had to work to keep his voice calm. If he could wring Lisa’s neck, he would do it gladly.

“Then.. then she said I should make the most of my time with you because it wouldn’t last.”, Khushi said, her voice low.

“And why did she feel our marriage wouldn’t last?”, Arnav asked conversationally.

“She… she said that she… that she…. had been your girlfriend first. Then.. then you met Lavanyaji and threw Lisaji away.” 

Arnav grit his teeth, furious at Lisa and pained at the hurt on Khushi’s face. “That when you met me, you sent Lavanyaji away.” 

 

Arnav swallowed hard. What a mix of truths, half-truths, and lies! “That when you meet another woman, you will throw me out….”

“That won’t happen, Khushi. If Lisa is waiting for that to happen, she will be wasting her life. Our marriage will last till the day we die.”, Arnav said. Knowing Lisa, she wouldn’t have stopped with this. “What else did she say, Khushi?”

Khushi looked away, trying to pull her hand away from his hold. He retained his hold, lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed it.

“Tell me, Khushi. Please. We need to find a way out, Khushi.”, he reassured her, holding her hand to his heart.

“She said that you… you t..took her to P..Paris and bought her the f…fur coat…”

“And…..?”, Arnav asked.

“That… that…”, Khushi could not get the words out.

“Khushi…”, he prompted her.

“That you… that you… were a good… a good kisser…..”

Arnav looked at the anguish in Khushi’s eyes and felt a part of him die. 

“and…. and … and an inventive lover….”, Khushi’s voice was lower than a whisper, but Arnav heard every sound and every word she spoke and didn't speak and felt the pain, the hurt that she must have felt when Lisa had gloated.

“And she said that I wouldn’t be able to hold you because you like fashionable and experienced girls….”, Khushi concluded.

Khushi looked at the design on her orange bed sheet, and Arnav looked at her lowered, drawn face. Days of crying and lack of sleep had left the skin around her eyes bruised and dark. He swallowed his ire at Lisa with great difficulty.

“When did Pam & Sim get to you?”, Arnav asked. “At the party?”

“No.”, Khushi shook her head. “I went to the temple to listen to a pravachan. After listening to it, I wanted to talk to you. Tell you everything that Lisaji had said, ask you if it was true or if Lisaji was lying to hurt me, ask you if our marriage had a chance…..”, she sighed. Arnav swallowed hard. She continued, “It is better to find out and fix everything before marriage. Once we get married, it is for life. For seven lives. And then if you leave me… I.. I…”, Khushi could not even describe the devastation that would cause in her life.

Arnav swallowed with great dificulty.

“Amanji said you were in a meeting. He offered to get you, but I said I would wait. I was sitting there…. and then Pamji and Simji came….”

“Was Aman there then?”, Arnav asked.

“No. Amanji had gone away.”, Khushi leaned back against the headboard. She was so tired. So fed up. So sick and exhausted of this whole mess….

“What did they tell you?”

Khushi took a long, deep breath. “Thye apologised for spoiling Lisaji’s coat.”, she said.

Arnav raised his eyebrows in ironic appreciation. “That was smart!”, he said softly. Apparently Pam & Sim had benefited from the training sessions his firm organised regularly for the employees.

 “They said they had been too scared of Lisaji’s temper to confess the truth.”, Khushi sighed.

Arnav nodded. “Then…?”

“Then… then…. they said…”, Khushi yawned in tiredness.

“They said…?”, he asked softly.

“They said that you… that you let her get away with her anger…..”, Khushi managed to say.

“Acha?”, Arnav asked with a frown. “What evidence did they provide to you? They must have said something…?”

Khushi swallowed.

“They said that Lisaji had come to your office one day, angry with you…… because you were late…. You were supposed to pick her up…. to… to spend the weekend at your f..farmhouse……”

Arnav pressed her fingers.

“You left your meeting and came out to pacify her…”, Khushi said, avoiding his eyes.

“And… what else did I do?”, Arnav asked.

Khushi was sagging against the headboard. Saying all these hurtful, evil things….. reliving the terrible scenes…. This was taking a lot out of her, and she wished she could lie down, shut her eyes, and never wake up.

Anyway, there wasn’t much more to say. It was better that she finished it, Khushi thought. 

“You sent Lisaji a big bouquet of red roses. She was very happy to get it. She came to your office with it, threw out the people you were talking to, and hugged and kissed you. Pamji came to your room by mistake, and Lisaji screamed at her.”, she repeated like a parrot, leaning back with shut eyes.

“Anything more?”, Arnav asked through a clenched jaw.

Khushi was too fatigued to speak. She just shook her head in the negative.

“Khushi….”, Arnav caressed her cheek. She opened her eyes. “Lisa, Pam, and Sim are in this together. To break us.”

Khushi stared at him.

“Do you trust me, Khushi?”, he asked.

Khushi nodded.

“Will you listen to me, Khushi? Let me tell you the whole truth?”, he asked.

Khushi nodded.

“I dated Lisa briefly. We were boy friend and girl friend for a very short period before her tantrums and her nastiness irritated the hell out of me.”

Khushi swallowed.

“Our relationship, if you can call it that, ended a year or more before I even saw Lavanya. Khushi, I work almost all hours of the day. Do you really think I could build up such a large firm with global offices if I spent all my time chasing women?”

Khushi looked at him.

Arnav continued. “Did I pay for Lisa’s coat? Yes, I did. But did I buy it for her? No, I didn’t. Did I take her to Paris? I paid for her trip. But did I go with her? No. See, Khushi. This is the way lies and the truth are woven together till it looks believable.”

Khushi stared at him with wide eyes.

“There was a show in Paris. Our firm performed very well. It was very successful. I sanctioned the release of a range of expensive gifts to the male and female models who had modelled our clothes. Aman picked a few attractive options and placed them before the models. Some picked the fur coats, some took the holiday packages, some went for the car… It was their choice. Lisa took the coat.”

Khushi nodded slowly, getting what he was trying to tell her.

“I did not take Lisa to Paris. My firm paid for their journey and accommodation, but I did not take her there personally. In fact I did not even attend the event as Nani developed chest pain around that time and the doctors found out an abnormality in her ECG. I was with her in the hospital and at home when the event was being held in Paris.”

Khushi nodded.

“I work in a field that is littered with attractive men and women. If I want to spend my life with such girls, would I propose to you, Khushi? I never believed in love and marriage. I never dreamed that I would want to get married some day. Never. Not in my wildest dreams. After the terrible things that happened in my childhood, I was determined not to get married, Khushi. When I met you and felt this pull towards you, I fought it as hard as I could, Khushi. With everything I had. Even to the point of dragging Lavanya to my house to stay there with my family. I did even that to protect myself against you. But it did not work.

My love for you only grew, Khushi. It did not die. It only grew, Khushi.”

Khushi swallowed hard, and looked at his hand holding her fingers tight.

“Khushi, we used to spend our childhood holidays in Delhi. Mamaji, Mami, Nani, Nana, Akash, Papa, Mama, Di, & I. We used to come to the farmhouse here…. Each room, each corridor.. each plant that my Mama planted… even the wind that touched her… I can feel my Mama there, Khushi… Do you think I will take Lisa … or anyone there?”

Khushi shook her head. Both of them had moist eyes.

“You know how important my business is to me, Khushi. I don't let anyone disturb me or distract me when I am working. The day Lisa disturbed my meeting because I was late picking her up for some party was the day I ended our relationship. She raised such hell in the office that Aman had to inform me and I had to leave the conference hall to deal with her.”

Khushi looked at him.

“I did not want to see her face again. So I arranged an overseas assignment for her. And asked Aman to send the papers to her. As a mark of courtesy, Aman sent her a bouquet along with the documents. The florists mixed up the orders, and delivered a big bouquet of red roses to Lisa. She came to the office to thank me. She threw the managers out, but I motioned Aman to stay. She kissed my cheek and thanked me for the assignment and for the flowers. It was then that Aman realised that the orders had been mixed up. When she realised that the flowers had not been meant for her, Lisa flew into a temper. Pam happened to knock on the door that very moment. Lisa shouted at Pam.”

“Oh!”, Khushi exclaimed.

“Do you believe me, Khushi?”, Arnav asked, his anxious eyes looking into hers.

She nodded.

He heaved a sigh of relief. He cupped her face in his palms, and said softly, “Khushi, you don’t have to worry about my girlfriends. They were in my past. Not in my present or my future. And they meant nothing, Khushi.”

She looked into his honest eyes for a while in silence.

Then she asked softly, her voice a thin thread, “If they meant nothing, Arnavji, then why was Lisaji so angry with me and Lavanyaji so upset when you sent her away?”

Happy Birthday, Sayali! (23rd April)

 

Part 19, Section 8

Arnav stared at Khushi’s face, lost for an answer.

She looked at him for a few moments, and then slowly laid her weary head on her pillow. Her eyes drooped as she waited for his response.

“Khushi…”, he said. That was all he could say.

“It is not possible for everyone to be hard-hearted and emotionless in a relationship, is it?”, she asked, her words slurred.

Arnav looked at her lying on her Buaji’s teak bed that creaked, the stars representing her parents twinkling in the lamp light. She looked very young, very, very defenceless, and exhausted beyond description.

“Girl friend…. boy friend…. being in a relationship…..”, she mused. “Anger…. love…. liking…. hatred….. even possessiveness……jealousy.... It is human to feel all these, isn’t it? Even girls who wear chote kapde or no kapde, they too feel everything that a middle class girl like me from a small town would feel, don't they?"

Arnav looked directly into her eyes, reading the resignation in hers. 

"How can you kiss Lisaji then and be indifferent to her now?” Her low voice sounded loud to Arnav. “How can you kiss me without thinking of other women you have kissed?” She was genuinely curious.

Arnav could not find his voice. Not that he had any use for it when he had nothing to say. All he could do was stare at her in shock and silence.

A while later, she said, “I knew something would happen. It always does.” She shut her eyes. “One moment of happiness. Just one moment of it. And then days of sorrow. That is how my life is….” There was no self-pity in her voice, only an acceptance of how things were.

Arnav swallowed his pain, the muscles of his throat protesting against the motion.

“Our marriage will be very difficult, Arnavji. Because we are too different.”, Khushi thought aloud.

“Khushi…”, he croaked in panic. “Don’t think like that.” If she walked away from him…..

She smiled slightly. “I am not saying that I won’t marry you, Arnavji. But our life together will be difficult.... for both of us.”

“Khushi…”, he protested.

“Difficult for you, because I am ajeeb. Bilkul sanki. More than my Buaji thinks or knows.”, she confessed.

“Khushi, don’t…”

“Because I am scared. Too scared of losing you, too scared to leave you…. Too scared of waking up one day to… to… to find my world shattered again… to feel empty again…. to be alone again….. to have no one in this big world…..”, she sighed.

“Khushi, you will never be alone again.”, Arnav promised, holding her hand to his heart, blinking his moist eyes to see her clearly.

But Khushi was not crying. Nor was she asking for reassurance and promises. She was looking at herself with dispassionate eyes. Analysing herself mercilessly.

“I am weak. Like the creeper in your garden that clings to the support you have fixed for it.”

“No, Khushi, you are not weak. You are the strongest person I have ever met. And the nicest. Your heart… your goodness….”, Arnav started.

Khushi smiled laconically. “What good is this heart and goodness?” She shook her head. “They only make me cry. They don’t help me live.”

“Khushi, don’t talk of yourself like that.”, Arnav warned as he kissed her hand.

“And living in your world will be very difficult for me. The lies…. the women…. the vultures…..”

“Khushi, I will make sure that nobody hurts you. I will…”

“Kill all your girl friends? Wipe all foul-mouthed women off the face of this earth?”, Khushi smiled. “Or silence all gossiping women? I don’t think even Arnav Singh Raizada can do it.”

Arnav looked at her, helpless, terrified. His life was going out of control.

They stared at each other, seeing the road ahead of them paved with bitchy ladies and insecurities and tears and anguish. Unable to bear Arnav’s distress, Khushi got up and walked on her knees on the bed to him.

She cupped his face.

“It is all my fault, Arnavji.”, she claimed. “If only I had accepted Kanhaiyya Lal’s love letter in 7^th standard! Or Banke Bihari’s love-filled missive in 10^th standard! Or Kishorilal Mathur’s love note hidden in my Physics notebook in 12^th standard! ”, she sighed. “It is too late now.”

Arnav stared at her.

“Then maybe I might have had more boy friends than you had girl friends!”

His mouth fell open. Khushi tapped his chin to close it. “I know you take maas-machi when you eat in teashops, but do you eat mosquitoes too?”

He looked at her smiling face for a moment more, and then pulled her into his arms and held her as tight as he could.

“My ribs……”, Khushi complained gently in his ear. His hold loosened.... slightly. “Or wedding guests will ask why the bride is walking with an uneven gait.”

Arnav buried his face in the hollow of her neck. She felt his hot tears wet her silky smooth skin.

“It is alright, Arnavji.", she comforted him. "We will manage. Some how. As long as we love each other……”, she whispered, running her fingers through the thick mass of his unruly hair.

Part 19 Section 9

“Garima, we will have to arrange the money for Titliyaa’s marriage soon, Nandkisore. And get the jewellery polished….”, Buaji said, carefully picking a black grain from a heap of uncooked rice on a plate and throwing it away.

“Haan, Jiji. We will have to pledge Gomti Sadan…..”, Garima said, sighing.

Buaji nodded slowly. “There is no other way, Nandkisore! Such a good boy! Such a good family! And they like each other so much! Garima, I almost fainted when Arnav Babua gave me the papers to this house, Nandkisore!”

“Haan, Jiji. He is kind and good. We have to make sure that the wedding is up to their standards…..”

Buaji nodded, setting the plate of rice aside.

Khushi, who had returned home to take her phone, stood listening to them, and then left without making a sound.

That evening, Khushi declared, “I am going to sell sweets, Buaji.”

“Hein?”, Buaji frowned. “In Arnav Bitwaa’s house?”

Khushi laughed. “No. Here.”

“Hai Re Nandkisore! Garima, your laadli’s brain has flown out through the window… phuuurrrrr…”, Buaji exclaimed.

“Khussi! Kaa bak rahi ho?”, asked Garima.

Babuji looked at Khushi anxiously.

She smiled and said, “I asked Munshiji if I could work from 7 in the morning to 2 at noon, instead of 10 to 5 as I am supposed to. He said it was alright.”

“So?”, Buaji asked.

“Now I have half the day to spare, Buaji. I talked to Happyji & Bediji. They said I can use the space next to their garage just like we did before. But this time, I won’t make many types of sweets, Buaji. I will make only one. And that too, only in small quantities, mainly for the devotees who come to the temple in Laxmi Nagar in the evening.”, Khushi smiled.

“You will become a halwai, Nandkisore?”, asked Buaji, her hand on her head.

“I am a halwai, Buaji.” Khushi tied her thin towel around her head, and pranced about with a ladle. “I look like one, don’t I, Babuji?”

Babuji smiled.

“And where will you get the money for your shop, hein?”, Buaji asked.

“I have it, Buaji. From my salary.”, Khushi reassured her.

 “I have already told everyone in the neighbourhood. I want to start tomorrow, Buaji, Amma, Babuji, because it is Friday and many people come to see Devi Maiyya on Friday. So we should be able to do good business. Soon we can get back your bangle that we pledged to make sweets earlier, Buaji.”

Buaji looked at Amma and Babuji.

“Acha? What does Arnav Babua think of this halwai plan of yours, Sanka Devi?”, she asked.

“Nothing.”, Khushi said.

“Nothing, Nandkisore?”, Buaji asked sceptically.

Khushi laughed. “How can he think anything when he knows nothing about it?”

All gaped at her.

“I am going to tell him now.”, she took her phone and went to her bedroom.

Buaji sank into a chair. “This girl will drive poor Arnav Babua crazy!”

“Arnavji, I am going to make jalebis.”, Khushi declared.

Arnav blinked. “You are upset, Khushi?”, he asked anxiously.

Khushi burst out laughing. “No, Arnavji. I am going to become a businessman like you. No, not a businessman, a businesswoman.”

“Uughhh…?”

“I am going to start Satwik Mistaan Bhandaar near Bediji’s garage.”, she declared cheerfully.

“Khushi… why?”, he finally asked.

Khushi sighed. “Arnavji, my job in the godown will come to an end in a couple of months. You see, I was employed to enter the details in the files in the godown on to spreadsheets. At the pace I am going now, the job will be over soon.”

“We can advance our wedding, Khushi…”, Arnav got in, hoping that she would say ‘yes’.

Khushi laughed. “Why should we advance our wedding, Arnavji? I am having so much fun now.”, she teased him.

“Khushi…”, he warned her.

“You send me red roses regularly, call me many times every day, take me out in the evenings sometimes, buy me channa and ber, say such sweet, sweet things ..….. Why should I give up all this to marry you?”, she teased him.

“Don’t test my patience, Khushi…”, he growled.

She laughed.

“Tum has rahi ho…? Haso. You can laugh as I am not in the same room with you. If I were, you wouldn’t be laughing, Khushi….”, Arnav drawled in his husky voice.

Khushi blushed. 

She quickly gathered the remains of her dignity together, and declared, “Anyway, I don’t want to sit at home doing nothing after we get married, Arnavji. So I thought I will start a sweetshop.”

“Khushi, if you want to work, you can always join my office…”, he offered.

“No, thank you. I have had enough of your files and laptops.”, Khushi smiled.

“Khushi, I will arrange training for you. You can learn to design dresses…”, Arnav offered.

Khushi burst out laughing. “Me! Chamkili! Designing dresses for the models!!!”, she gasped. “No, no, Arnavji! That’s too cruel! What do you have against your models? I have no sense of fashion…”

“Khushi, are you sure you want to start a sweetshop?”, Arnav asked.

“Ji. I like making sweets.”, she said.

“OK. Let Aman pick an upscale locality for you. We can decide on space for rent or purchase…employees to help you… Are you sure you don’t want to do it in my office, Khushi? We can have your outlet in the canteen…”

“No, thank you, Arnavji. And I don’t want you to disturb Amanji. I will do my business across the road from Buaji’s house.”, she said.

“Khushi…..”, Arnav protested.

“Arnavji, let me start small…”

“Let me fund you…”

“Let me do it on my own…”

“You don’t have to do everything on your own…”, Arnav said urgently.

“I know. I know, Arnavji, that when ever my step falters, you will be there to catch me.”, she said, her sweet voice quelling the turmoil in his heart.

Arnav sighed. “Khushi, I miss you…”

Khushi smiled. “I miss you too, Arnavji, even though we meet daily. But… but I need the 5 months. Let me set up the shop. Let it start making a profit. Then I can work part-time there and Buaji & Amma can take over. It will give them a steady source of income even after you carry me away in the doli.”

“Khushi, let me make a monthly allowance…”, Arnav offered.

“No, Arnavji. They won’t like it. The house that you bought for Buaji… even that was too much, according to them. This way is better. Let me do it.”, Khushi pleaded.

Arnav sighed.

“Arnavji, Amanji called today. He said that you summoned Pamji & Simji to your office and shouted at them!”, Khushi said slowly, not wanting to make him angry.

“I did.”

“And… and that you dismissed them….”, she said softly.

“I did. Nobody hurts you and gets away with it. They won’t find a job in this industry in this country. I will see to it.”

“Arnavji…”, Khushi protested.

“No appeals in this regard will be entertained, Khushi…”, Arnav Singh Raizada declared.

Khushi wisely kept silent.

A few weeks later, Arnav walked into Buaji’s house at night to see Khushi counting money.

“I am going to be very rich, Arnavji.”, she laughed, talking around the jalebi in her mouth. “Soon I will have to employ someone to count the money!”, she joked.

Arnav smiled to see the childish glee on her face, and sat by her.

Khushi leaned over and kissed him soundly on his cheek.

Arnav looked at her, happy and surprised.

“I don’t know how or why, Mr. Raizada, but many of your acquaintances & employees seem to be dropping in to buy sweets from me….”, she quirked an eyebrow expecting an answer from him. 

He hid a smile. Well, he had dropped in a word for her... And Aman had mentioned it to a few people... What could he do if his employees were fans of her Lucknowi sweets?

“Mamiji’s friends are giving me orders for their kitty parties. I am making prasad for Anjaliji & Nani’s satsangs. And will you believe it, Arnavji? They are having satsangs daily these days!!!!”, Khushi laughed into his eyes.

Arnav could not keep from chuckling.

“Nanheji came to buy sweets, bringing Jiju, Jiji, & Mamaji with him. Now only Hari Prakashji & Laxmiji are left!”, she chuckled.

Part 20

Arnav held Khushi’s fingers in his warm clasp as he helped her up the marble steps to the exclusive hotel where an annual function of his firm was held. 

“Scared?”, Arnav asked her with a gentle smile. “Don’t be. We can leave in half-an-hour, Khushi. And I will be with you all the time. Hamesha.”

Khushi smiled at him. “Scared? Hum?” She lifted her nose in the air. “You have got me mixed up with someone else, Arnavji! I am the Khushi Kumari Gupta who fought with you in your office & home and won. Many times…”, she claimed.

 He gave in without a fight. “Yes, you won. Every time.” His smile was a caress. 

He curled her fingers around his arm, and covered them with his. He led her into the venue with pride.

Many eyes saw ASR walk into the lavishly decorated hall with a young and beauteous lady dressed in a peach sari with a heavy silver border, and paused to take stock of the situation.

Beautiful ladies were a dime a dozen in the modelling world. A beautiful lady accompanying ASR to a party was nothing new or anything to be remarked upon.

But ASR’s expression….! Was that love… and tenderness? Was he, God forbid, smiling? As the fashionable crowd watched surreptitiously, ASR laughed at something the girl said. Many hearts stopped beating.

Among the covetous and envious female eyes, only one pair of eyes watched ASR and his lady with pure curiosity and no animosity.

Aman drew Arnav away from Khushi with profuse apologies. At a party given by AR Designs for its models and its present & potential business associates, ASR had to meet and greet the guests. He could not be  a hermit.

“Aap jayiye.”, Khushi said, smiling. “I will sit here and wait for you.”, she signalled a row of plush chairs and love seats arranged at the fringes of the hall.

“Khushi…”, Arnav was patently reluctant to leave her.

She whispered in his ear, “Arnavji, my feet are hurting in the high heels. I will sit here like a good girl.”

“Khushi, we can leave soon.”, Arnav reassured her.

“I am fine, Arnavji.”, Khushi reassured him.

 

Arnav left with Aman, and Khushi moved towards a love seat.

A lady in blue appeared by her. “Who the hell are you?”, she asked Khushi.

Khushi looked up, surprised. “Ji… hum Khushi he.”, she said politely. She took in everything she could about the lady. Late twenties, short dress, hair that looked as though she had stuck her hand in an electric socket…… Was she another one like Lisaji?

A malicious smile appeared on the model’s face. “Khushi……? And what is Khushi doing with ASR? Begging for a modelling assignment? Going down on her knees for a chance?”, she sneered.

Khushi burst out laughing. She, a model! If only Buaji could hear this! 

“Living the good life, aren’t you?”, the model smirked.

“Ji.”, Khushi agreed. Her business was doing very well, and today, she had been able to pay & retrieve Buaji’s bangle for her. 

“Don’t take this life for granted…..”, the model started.

“..because it will end soon.”, Khushi completed for her, disconcerting the lady for a moment. Khushi continued, “Were you Arnavji’s girl friend?”

This threw the model off her track. “Yes…yes…”, she said.

Khushi continued, “If you have something to say, please say it now. Woh kya he, I am not going to use the ladies’ bathroom tonight. And Arnavji is in a hurry to leave. So you may not get me alone again.”

The model looked at her askance. Then she began, “ASR… ASR is a wonderful…..”

Khushi said, “Kisser. Ji, I know. And an inventive lover. You had fun with him. He bought you things. Is there anything else?”, she asked, a wary eye on Arnavji who had his back to her at that moment.

The model stood with her mouth open, staring at Khushi.

Khushi said, “Suniye… I don’t know your name. But that’s alright. Please leave. If Arnavji sees you talking to me, he will ask me what you said. I cannot lie to him. I will have to tell him the truth. If he feels that you have hurt me, there is no saying what he will do to you. He threw Pamji and Simji out of his office. Lisaji! God only knows what has happened to Lisaji! Aap jaayiye!”, Khushi shooed her off. 

The model permitted herself to be shooed away.

Arnav turned to look at Khushi anxiously. She was sitting comfortably on a love seat. Alone. Arnav heaved a sigh of relief. She smiled at him. He smiled warmly in response, and unwillingly turned to listen to Mr. Madanmohan Vyas.

A man, no, a boy stubbed his toe against a chair near Khushi and stumbled. Instinctively, she caught hold of his arm and steadied him.

“Aap theek ho?”, Khushi asked him anxiously.

He peered at her with owlish eyes.

“Are you feeling sick?”, Khushi asked him softly. “Do you need any help?”

“Help?”, the boy slurred. “No..no.. Just had a couple of drinks.. I am good.. good…”, he promised, swaying on unsteady limbs.

Khushi pursed her lips.

“Yeh good he to bad kaisa hoga? Sit down before you fall.”, she said, looking around to see if anyone had seen them. 

All were busy having fun.

“After you, laaaddddy…”, the boy tried to be courteous. He bent to offer her a seat, and almost toppled over. 

Khushi caught him by the arm and made him sit down.

“Thankyoo… thankoooo…. You are…  an angel… Did I tell you that?”, he smiled at her, feeling no pain.

Khushi frowned at him.

“You are too young to drink daru! Do you know what it will do to your phephda?”, she asked him.

The boy blinked.

“Did you come alone?”, she asked him.

“Friends…”, he raised an arm in the general direction of the party, smiling in  a foolish way.

“Nice friends!”, Khushi commented. “How dare they let you drink? Aap ko pata he, Daru is poison. It will kill your organs. Are you listening to me?”, Khushi hissed.

The boy nodded. “You are… like…. Folence Naaa…”, the boy shook his head, trying to remember the name.

Khushi frowned at him. “Aap hamein gaali de rehe he? Woh bhi Angrezi mein?”, she asked frowning.

“Fo..oo..lence…. Naaii…ale.. She had a diya in one hand….”, the boy explained, smiling in drunken good humour.

“Like Madhuri Dikshitji in Devdas?”, Khushi asked, curious.

“No… No…”, he shook his head. “Nurse… with diya……”, the boy said.

“Florence Nightingale?”, Khushi smiled. 

The boy was thrilled. “Yes. Yes. You are her….?”, he asked, lolling against the back rest.

“Of course not? How can I be her?”, Khushi asked, smiling.

“Oh… You know her?”, the boy asked, his heavy eyelids falling over his eyes.

“Of course I know her.”, replied Khushi. “She was in my 8^th standard textbook.”

The boy smiled at her through half-slit eyes and promptly fell asleep.

Khushi looked at him in exasperation.

“Ek, you are too young to drink. Do, you didn’t tell me your name. Teen, Arnavji has to return before we can find your address and take you home. Chaar…”, Khushi did not let the fact that the boy was asleep deter her from scolding him.

Someone cleared their throat behind her. Khushi turned around, startled.

A lady sat in a chair in the darkness behind her. Dim light filtering through the drapes fell on her white, loose tunic & dark trousers. Her booted feet were up on a chair pulled close for comfort. Her face was hidden in the dark.

“Maaf kijiye!”, Khushi said. “I didn’t see you.”

“You are Khushi…?”, the lady asked, her low, husky voice sounding like music.

“Ji.”, Khushi smiled. “Aap?”

“Anamika.”

“Anamikaji, do you know this boy?”, Khushi pointed to the young model sleeping off his liquor.

“Gaurav.”, the lady said. “He will get home somehow. Let him be.”

“But…?”, Khushi’s protective side was out in full force.

“He has to learn things the hard way. Only then will he learn to take care of himself.”, the lady said. 

Khushi nodded reluctantly.

“You came with ASR?”, the lady asked.

“Ji. Do you know Arnavji?”, Khushi beamed.

“Well, yes. In a manner of speaking…”, the lady shrugged.

Khushi frowned. “Were you his girl friend too?”, she asked directly, but without any animosity. Please Devi Maiyya, not this nice lady too!, Khushi prayed.

The lady burst out laughing, her lovely voice surrounding Khushi with warmth and heart-felt amusement.

“No.”, she finally said. “But what made you ask?”

Khushi sighed. “If I go out with Arnavji, I end up meeting his girl friends. First it was Lisaji. Then that lady in blue with the shocked hair…”

Anamika bit down her laughter. “The one who was speaking to you?”

“Ji.”

“The one you packed off with great finesse?”, Anamika asked, smiling.

Khushi smiled, but sighed. “Ji.”

“She was lying. To hurt you.”, stated Anamika.

Khushi stared at the dark figure. “Lying? To hurt me? But… why should she? It is not like we know each other…”

“You don’t need previous acquaintance to be jealous.”, Anamika said sardonically.

Khushi stared at the dark figure.

As Khushi watched, Anamika took her feet off the chair and stood up in a liquid movement. Then she slowly sauntered towards Khushi.

The light fell on the lady’s face.

Khushi gasped.

Anamika lifted an eyebrow.

“You are so beautiful!”, Khushi said. “Are you a model?”

“No.”, the lady said.

“Your hair! Your face! You should be a model! You have such long legs!”, Khushi was all compliments, smiling at her new friend.

Anamika tried to hide her smile.

“Are you sure you are not Arnavji’s girl friend?”, Khushi asked. Anamika was so beautiful! And so kind! Any man would fall at her feet in homage!

Anamika smiled. “I was never your Arnavji’s girl friend.”

 Both ladies looked at Arnav Singh Raizada who was talking to some guest, but had all his attention on Khushi.

“Let me say that my interest lies….. elsewhere…”, Anamika smiled to herself.