98. Loving Khushi: Part 15

Loving Khushi: Part 15

Khushi looked fearfully at Nandini, a middle-aged lady dressed simply in a white cotton saree and brown blouse.

“Aap neeche aa jayiye. In 10 minutes. It is time to meet the head cook. His name is Bhavani Shankar Tiwari.” the lady said.

Khushi nodded, feeling her heart gallop in fear. Would she be able to manage?

The lady looked slightly uncomfortable. “Khushi, woh kya he, Bhavani Shankarji is err… slightly hot tempered. Don’t be scared if he scolds you.”

Khushi gulped.

“And don’t cry. Whatever happens, don’t cry. He hates it if people cry when he scolds them.”

Khushi felt her limbs tremble.

“Do whatever he asks you to do. If you don’t know something, ask him. He will explain. Once.” Nandini looked at Khushi with something like pity in her eyes.

Khushi bobbed her head.

“Wash your face and hands, dress in simple cotton clothes, and come down. And haan, remove your footwear before you enter the kitchen. Or he will…” Nandini stopped. The last man hired for this post had run away so fast that he had not even stopped to collect his luggage! Nandini didn’t want to scare away the new girl. She smiled kindly at her, and said, “I will be there too. You come down.”

Khushi nodded, unable to find a word. Nandini left the room after giving her an encouraging smile.

Khushi drew in a sharp breath. She had to do well. She had to adjust to working with Tiwariji. And she couldn’t cry. She had to be brave. Even if he scolded her, she couldn’t show her distress. She had to show him an expressionless face. Like…like Arnavji. She had to be like Arnavji. Her mind filled with thoughts of his terrible past. He had taken charge of his family at a very young age. And he had made everything that the family had today. He must have been very nervous the first time he had gone to make a deal. But he must have hidden his fear behind his expressionless face… She shut her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She would be like him. She too would face the world on her own and manage to make  a life for herself. 

She quickly washed her face & hands and went down.

Bhavani Shankar Tiwari looked at the slip of a girl waiting to meet him. Her hair was in a neat plait, her clothes were simple, and she had removed her jhootis before entering his kitchen. He nodded, and waved her in.

Khushi looked at the mountain of a man, dressed in a white kurta & dhoti that matched the colour of his closely-cropped hair, sitting on a stool, chewing paan.

She swallowed nervously and walked to stand in front of him.

“Three thousand children eat breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner here.” he said.

“Ji.” Khushi replied. Her voice was low, but there was no trace of fear in it.

“There are 300 teachers too. And another 100 ladies doing cleaning & other jobs.”

“Ji.”

“I cook for all of them. You are here to help me. Do what you are told. Always.” he instructed.

“Ji.”

“And tie your hair in a bun when you enter the kitchen.”

“Ji.”

“The kitchen should be as neat as the pooja room. I will not tolerate any untidiness.” he warned her.

“Ji.”

“Put up your hair and come down now. We have to make dinner.” he said.

“Ji.” Khushi turned to go.

“By the way, what is your name?” he asked.

“Ji, Khushi.”

Bhavani Shankar nodded. “I hope you don’t become ‘dukhi’ when you see the amount of work waiting for you.”

Soon, Khushi was slicing vegetables for dinner. Had she been doing it at home, she would have popped a piece of cucumber or carrot in to her mouth and watched Kamlesh Khabri as she did her work. But this was Varanasi, and she was working under Tiwariji. She focused on the work at hand.

She felt Tiwariji’s eagle eyes inspect her work as he passed by. She felt him move away to check on the other 15 ladies who were slicing vegetables.

“Is this the way you cut carrot? How many times have I told you to cut them thin? Are you cooking for some rakshas who can gobble up huge chunks? You are cooking for children. My children! If you can’t do as you are told, get out of here!” Tiwariji shouted.

Khushi trembled in fear, even though Tiwariji’s ire was not directed towards her. “Arnavji…Arnavji…” she chanted. “Remember Arnavji…” Slowly her fear left her and her arm steadied.

At 12 at night, Khushi prayed to Devi Maiyya and fell in to bed, exhausted. She had to get up at 6 to start breakfast. Lying on the bedsheets that Arnavji had bought for her, looking at the stars Arnavji had hung for her over the bed, she thought of him. He must be on the way to Delhi, driving in the night. She hoped he had taken his dinner and his medicines.

She took the phone and called him.

“Khushi…” his dear voice filled her ears and tears filled her eyes.

“Are you driving?” she asked, her voice choked.

“Yes. How are you, Khushi?” He was anxious.

“Did you have dinner? Did you take your medicines?” she asked.

“I did. How are you, Khushi?” he asked urgently.

Khushi smiled through her tears. “I am fine. Arnavji, aapko pata he, the kitchen is ruled by Bhavani Shankar Tiwariji, a terror.”

“A terror?” Arnav’s voice was faint.

“Ji. He shouts at his helpers if they disobey him. His anger is terrifying. And he is very strict.” Khushi smiled.

“Khushi, did he scold you?” Arnav was angry and upset. How dare anyone scold Khushi?

“No, Arnavji. He didn’t scold me.” she smiled. “I was very careful. And I am not very scared of him now. Woh kya he, I am so used to you shouting at me that….” she laughed.

Arnav grimaced.

“Acha, hum phoone rakte hein…” Khushi began. But how could Arnav let her go?

“Khushi, why are you up so late?” Did she have to work such long hours? Arnav paled.

“We cooked dinner. The waiting staff served it. The cleaners cleaned the utensils, but Tiwariji was very particular that only I should clean the kitchen at night. And that too, according to his instructions. After I finished cleaning, Tiwariji & I arranged the utensils in their place, ready for breakfast. Then we set out the ingredients for breakfast. Then he went to the temple to pray & then to his room to sleep. I came up to my room.” Khushi was cheerful.

Arnav swallowed, his eyes moist.

“Can you sleep in tomorrow morning, Khushi?” he asked, knowing that it would not be possible.

“I have to be up at 6.” Khushi smiled. The smile slowly fell away. “Arnavji, can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything, Khushi.” Arnav reassured her.

“In the beginning, when I had to go down to meet Tiwariji, I was very scared. Very scared. Because Nandiniji had told me that he was very short-tempered. Then…”

“Then…” His heart ached for her.

“Then I thought about you.” Khushi confessed in a low voice.

“Me?”

“Ji. When you started out, you were young. And alone. You must have been so scared when you went for your first meeting, tried to make your first deal…”

“Yes.” Arnav confessed, a lump in his throat. He would admit it to no one else, only Khushi.

“You must have kept your face cold, expressionless, as you did what had to be done.”

“Yes.”

“You succeeded through your hard work, and today you are able to give your family a secure life. I want to be like you, capable of facing every difficulty bravely, capable of overcoming every hurdle…” Khushi was honest.

Arnav felt a tear slip down his cheek.

“Arnavji, I am going to sleep now. Otherwise I won’t wake up when the alarm rings.” Khushi smiled. “If I am late, Tiwariji will kill me. And you will become a widower.”

“Good night, Khushi.” Arnav croaked.

Khushi said softly, slowly, as she slipped in to sleep, “It feels so strange to sleep alone…Arnavji…”

The next tear trailed down his cheek.

 Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Part 14.
This update is about being agitated and various emotions coming to the fore, in a word BEING CHURNED.
When Khushi looked at Nandini, a middle-aged lady dressed simply in a white cotton saree and brown blouse, it was with trepidation. For, it was a new place and she was among strangers. She had wondered what was in store for her. Nandini asked her to come down in ten minutes as it was time for her to get acquainted with the head cook by name Bhavani Shankar Tiwari. Khushi who was already on tenterhooks, felt her heart gallop with fear, and a slight panic arose. She fretted would she be able to manage. Was she capable of doing this work to satisfaction? Nandini was looking a bit uncomfortable and with misgiving she hesitantly told Khushi, that Bhavani Shankarji was quick at losing his temper and asked her not to be scared if he scolds her. Khushi gulped hearing it she hardly dared to breathe. Nandini continued to tell her never to shed tears in front of him for he hates the sight of tears when he scolds people. Khushi got a jolt and felt her limbs lose their strength. She was told by Nandini to follow his words and do whatever he asks her to. If she does not know something she should ask him, for he was known to explain well, but just once. Nandini looked at Khushi sympathetically. Khushi dutifully bobbed her head. From what Nandini explained, Khushi understood that it would bode well to listen properly to whatever he says and toss her other thoughts aside lest she herself gets tossed up and down. She gave Khushi certain tips and they were to wash her face and hands thoroughly, dress in simple cotton clothes, and then come down. And she particularly asked her to remove her footwear before she enters the kitchen. Or he would... Nandini stopped at that without telling the new girl that he had made the last helper runaway without even stopping to collect his luggage! She did not want to scare away the new girl. Giving Khushi a kind smile she said, that she will be there too when she comes down.  Khushi feeling her stomach tighten, was unable to say anything and just nodded in response as Nandini left giving her an encouraging smile.
Khushi hitched her sharp breath. She now knew she had to do well and could not give in to the flutters in her stomach. She had to adjust to the ways of Tiwariji and she could not shed tears. She had to put up a brave face and even if scolded, she could not show her distress on her face. She had to be expressionless. Just like her Arnavji... Her mind instantly filled with the thoughts of his past. Even when he was unable to understand the ways of the world, he had to harden himself and face it. He had taken charge of the family and worked hard for its welfare at a very young age. He, through his sweat had made everything that the family had today. First time when he cut a deal, he must have been a bundle of nerves. But knowing that he could not afford failure, as his family had placed its trust as well as its money on him he must have hidden his fear schooling his face deadpan. With her eyes closed, inhaling a deep breath and getting the strength from her thoughts on Arnavji, settling her nerves, she decided that she would be like him, never show her fear, she too would face the world on her own and manage to make a life for herself. With a quick wash of hands and face, she went down.
Bhavani Shankar Tiwari looked at the slip of a girl waiting to meet him. With her hair in a neat plait, her simple clothes and barefoot while entering the kitchen Khushi earned an appreciative nod as he waved her in. Khushi looked at the giant of a man, dressed in a white kurta and dhoti that shone brightly just as his closely-cropped grey hair were, sitting on a stool chewing paan. As she swallowed nervously and walked to stand in front of him, he told her in a firm voice, that three thousand children eat breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner there. When Khushi indicated that she understood in a low yet clear voice with no trace of fear in it, he continued to say that there were three hundred teachers too and in addition another hundred ladies in janitorial services. He told her that he cooks for them all. He instructed that she was there to help him and asked her to do as she was told, adding, always, with it. Khushi just kept on giving, a yes, to him. He further asked her, to knot her hair into a bun when she enters the kitchen. His lists of do's and don'ts also included a warning that the kitchen should be as neat as the pooja room. He would not tolerate any untidiness. He asked her to put her hair into a bun and go down to help him make the dinner. As Khushi once again agreed to do as he said, he asked her what her name was. Her response, Khushi, received a nod and he said he hoped that she does not become 'dukhi' when she sees the amount of work that needs to be done by her. All through the ordeal, she hardly dared to breathe.
Soon Khushi found herself chopping the vegetables for dinner. She thought, had she been doing it at home, she would have popped a piece of cucumber or carrot in to her mouth and watched Kamlesh Khabri while she did her work. But this was Varanasi, and she was working under Tiwariji. It was important that she focused on the work at hand. Without really seeing him do so, she felt Tiwariji's eagle eyes inspect her work as he passed by. She felt him move away to check on the other fifteen ladies who were chopping vegetables too. She heard Tiwariji bellow out in anger at a woman, was that the way to cut the carrots? How many times had he told her to slice them thin? Was she cooking for some rakshas who can gobble up huge chunks? They were cooking for children. His children! If she cannot do as she was told, she could very well get out of there! The ire directed at some other women for sloppy work had Khushi tremble with fear. She chanted Arnavji's name mentally as she felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, and reminded herself that he had faced a lot of things and then toughened. That was how he was able to achieve things in his life. Just this thought and knowing that he was always there for her, slowly made the fear ebb out of her and her arm steadied.
It was midnight when Khushi finished her work and after her night prayers, she eased her exhausted body on to her bed. She felt good to stretch after the back breaking first day and knew she will have just six hours of sleep before she had to get up to start the next day's work. Lying on the sheets that her Arnavji had bought for her, looking at the stars Arnavji had hung for her over the bed, her mind wandered to him. She thought that he must be on the way to Delhi, driving in the night and agonized whether he had his dinner and his medicines on time. She took out her phone and called him and at the first ring she heard his husky voice call out, Khushi..., making her tear up. She asked him in a wobbly voice whether he was driving. Becoming anxious, he told her he was and asked how she was doing? Without answering him, she asked, did he have his dinner and did he take his medicines? He answered that he did have both dinner and medicines and repeated his query tinged with urgency, how she was. Khushi sensing that he was worried about her, smiling through tears told him that she was fine and does he know that the kitchen was the domain of Bhavani Shankarji, a terror. As Arnav repeated, a terror, his voice was faint with dread, thinking what he had left her in! She told him that was what she said. With a smile she continued, that Tiwariji shouts at his helpers if they disobey him. His anger strikes fear in the heart and he is much disciplined. Seeing red, after hearing it, Arnav asked her did he scold her. Convulsed with anger that Khushi had to face such a situation, he thought how dare anyone scold Khushi? With a smile she placated him saying, no, he had not scolded her as she was very careful and the thought of getting scolded by Tiwariji does not hold any terrors for her as she was used to being shouted at by him.
Though she laughed out saying so, it made him grimace. As she began to tell that she was going to cut the call, Arnav could not let her do so. He was feeling lonely and the desolation of where his life was heading to, not knowing whether she would come back to him was making him feel butterflies in his stomach. He asked her why she was up so late. His turbulent mind swirled on thought did she have to work such long hours. Just the thought made him go pale. But Khushi cheerfully explained her days work. Once the food was cooked it was served by the waiting staff and the cleaning staff cleaned the utensils. But Tiwariji was particular that only she was to clean the kitchen, that too in accordance with his instructions. After that both Tiwariji and she, had arranged the utensils in their place and had set out the ingredients for breakfast. It was his way to break her into the work under his eagle eyed supervision. She told Arnav, while Tiwariji went to the temple to pray and then retire for the day; she had come up to her's. Her narration of how her day was, made Arnav fight back his tears. He asked her, would she be able to sleep-in that morning, knowing very well that it was not possible to do so. Khushi with a smile told him, that she has to be up at six.
When a thought struck her, her smile dwindled and asked him, could she tell him something? Arnav assured her, that she could say anything she wished. She began saying, that in the beginning, when she had to go down to meet Tiwariji, she was one scared body, extremely scared as Nandiniji had told her that he was very short-tempered. Then... and she paused. Arnav urged her to continue while his heart ached to hear that she had to face such a situation. She confessed that, and then she thought about him. Her words took him by surprise. She continued to say, when he started out very young and alone he must have been scared, really scared out of wits to attend his first meeting and tried to make his first deal. As Arnav agreed with her he had to swallow a lump in his throat recalling the feeling and that he did feel so he would admit it only to Khushi and to no one else. She continued saying that, he must have kept his face cold and deadpan, as he did what had to be done. When he confirmed it to be so, she told him that, he succeeded through his hard work, and today he is able to give his family a secure life. She wants to be like him, capable of facing every difficulty bravely, capable of overcoming every hurdle...  Khushi's honest confession moved him and felt his chest tighten. It had a tear escape his eyes, down his cheek. Khushi told him that she needed to sleep now or else she will not be able to get up when the alarm rings. If she was late, Tiwariji would butcher her and it would end up with him just becoming a widower. As Arnav wished her goodnight in a wobbly voice, Khushi said softly, slowly, that it feels so strange to sleep alone... Arnavji... and she slipped in to sleep. Hearing it, the next tear coursed down his cheek, feeling her loneliness, feeling his loneliness, feeling bitter at what his deeds did to an innocent girl, feeling remorse for leading his Khushi make a decision to uproot, away from all the known faces and break her back with work. Though she was resilient, for him there was no respite. He would forever repent for putting her through his hatred drill. Blinded by his love for his Di, blinded by the thought that he had been betrayed, he was unable to see the selfless love of Khushi, he was unable to see the true Khushi and even after she had put her life at stake he had accused her of being the root cause of his Di's trouble knowing very well it was not so. He had taken out his anger on that chit of a girl at every chance and now the very same girl was deriving strength from her thoughts on him, and putting him on a pedestal by trying to emulate his strength. What an irony! For his deeds any amount of repentance was never going to be enough! This was the Arnav Singh Raizada, upset with himself, heading back to Delhi, with repentance in his heart in full swing.
That is why this update is titled as BEING CHURNED.
"The jewel emerged from the water, when the mountain   of gold was used to churn it"
                                     ~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib
That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

Part 16

HP opened the door to Arnav.

He walked in to see Nani, Mami, Payal, NK, Di, & Akash in the living room.

“Chotey! Tum aa gaye!” Di limped towards him, and stopped short. “Khushiji kahan he?”

Nani, Mami, Payal, NK, & Akash who had followed Di stood still, scared at the look on Arnav’s face.

“Chotey?” Nani murmured.

“I need to talk to you. Shall we sit down?” Arnav walked to the living room and sat down. The others followed suit, sitting around him.

Finally Mami said, “Donon honeymoon pe gaye rahe, lekin ek hi wapis aaye, Hello Hi Bye Bye! Khussi missing hui gava kaa?”

“Khussi Bitiyaa theek to he naa, Chotey?” Nani asked tremulously.

“Khushi theek he. She is in Varanasi.” Arnav said.

All gaped at him.

“Chotey…?” Anjali looked confounded.

“I forced her to marry me, both times. The first time, I threatened her. The second time, I used her love for me against her. So when she said she wanted to be free… for a while… I had to let her go.” Arnav said.

All looked at each other, confused.

“I have  a lot to tell you. It is a long story.” Arnav began. He told his family about his & Khushi’s relationship, his hatred, how he had punished her for breathing, for attracting his attention, her life in his office, her life in RM, Diwali night, Shyam, their contract marriage, how badly he had hurt her, how he had been kidnapped & how she had rescued him twice, how she had decided to leave him after his harsh words, how he had tried to stop her by bringing in the contract, how she had counted the days to the 15^th, how he had persuaded her to marry him for real…and ended his long tale by letting them know of Khushi’s desire to go away from all of them, especially him. He also gave an account of where he had left her.

There was not a single dry eye in the room.

Arnav sighed, in a way relieved that all knew the whole truth.

“Chotey, you have behaved very, very badly with my Khussi Bitiyaa…” Nani declared.

Arnav nodded.

“Chotey, sometimes you are…you are too much. How did Khushiji put up with you?” Anjali buried her head in her hands.

“You have been the husband from hell, Nannav!” NK exclaimed.

Payal remained weeping silently.

“Arnav Bitwaa, you phooled (fooled) all of ujj, even your Manorama Baand Mami!” Mami said.

“Bhai, we never knew…” Akash sighed. “We had no idea…”

“I am sorry, Akash. The minute I found out about Shyam, I should have called you & NK aside and told you the truth. I should have taken your help. It would have helped us deal with Shyam in an effective manner. Khushi keeps telling me that I don’t have to do everything alone, but I am so used to… She is right…” Arnav shook his head in disgust at his own blindness.

The ladies kept sniffing & wiping away tears that wouldn’t stop. Nani, Anjali, & Mami made their views about the whole debacle clear, blaming Arnav squarely for his folly and cruelty.

“No body but my Khussi Bitiyaa would have tolerated you, Chotey! You are beyond hope. I am tired of you and your thoughtlessness. You never think how your actions affect others, how your words affect others.” Nani said loud and clear.

“You are sensitive, you feel hurt when someone talks of our past and our parents, Chotey! Then how can you be so insensitive to the feelings of others, especially Khushiji?” Anjali asked, angry with her brother.

“Khussi did right. Let her go. She had no shanti in this shantivan, Saasummaa. Let her escape and live in peaces somewhere.” Mami remarked.

Arnav looked at his hands, held locked between his spread knees. He deserved to hear every bit of this and more.

Finally, Payal asked the million dollar question that everyone was scared to ask, “Khushi… Arnavji, will Khushi ever come back?”

“She will.” Arnav was definite on that point.

“Why should she, Nannav?” NK asked. “To be shouted at more by you?”

“Haan, Chotey, is there anything you have left to say to her? Any more insults and cutting words left?” Nani asked, her eyes glinting.

“She wil come back, Nani, because she loves me more than her own life. And because I love her more than my own life.” Arnav said.

The 4 ladies looked at each other, relief making them speechless for a moment.

“You love her?” NK asked, scratching his head. “Naniji, I thought being in love meant giving roses, going on dates, candlelight dinner, romantic walk in the rain… But Nannav shows his love by shouting at Khushiji, being angry with her…”

“Your Nannav is a specimen. So his love will also be special… filled with abuses and gaali! My poor Khussi Bitiyaa! I can understand that she wants to go far away from you, Chotey! But how could she leave us?” Nani wept. Anjali & Mami nodded.

“Arnavji, she is happy?” Payal asked. “She is safe?”

Arnav noded.

“Amma, Babuji, Buaji… they don’t know…” Payal paled further.

“I will talk to them. I am going to see them now.” Arnav stood up to go to Laxmi Nagar.

Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Part 16.
This update is about difficult, disagreeable responsibility or necessity, a burden and an obligation however distasteful that needed to be discharged... ONUS.
When Arnav came back from Varnasi, it was HP who let him in. He entered the house to see Nani, Mami, Payal, NK, Di and Akash in the living room. His Di pulling along her bad leg came to him welcoming and stopped short, not seeing Khushi with him. She asked him where was Khushiji. Nani, Mami, Payal, NK and Akash who had followed her stood still, scared at the look on Arnav's face. Nani murmured with a query Chotey? asking for an answer. Arnav told them that he needed to talk to them and requested could they all do so after being seated and led them to the living room. It was his responsibility to own up to everything however disagreeable and he had promised Khushi that he would inform all concerned and she need not worry over it. Others too sat around him. Finally, Mami who could not resist asked what was in everyone's mind in her own style, when both of them had been on honeymoon, why was it he came alone? Seeing the somber look on Arnav's face, in an attempt to lighten the situation, she asked, did Khushi go missing? Nani feeling something was amiss asked her Chotey tremulously, whether, Khushi Bitiyaa was alright? Taking charge of the situation, as Arnav informed them that Khushi was fine and was at Varanasi, all were stumped and Anjali looking bewildered queried, Chotey...?
For Arnav there was no escape from the sin he had committed that hung around his neck like a great millstone. He confessed that he had forced her to marry him both the times. The first time he had used threat as his weapon and the second time he had used her love for him to manipulate her into marriage. He was weighed down by his actions and so when she said she wanted to be free, for a while, he had to let her go as he had no other option. All looked at each other perplexed. He told them there was a lot more than they know and it was a long story. He began owning up his mistakes by narrating the complete story. He told his family about his and Khushi's relationship, his hatred, how he had punished her for breathing, for attracting his attention, her life in his office, her life in RM, Diwali night, Shyam, their contract marriage, how badly he had hurt her, how he had been kidnapped and how she had rescued him twice, how she had decided to leave him after his harsh words, how he had tried to stop her by bringing in the contract, how she had counted the days to the 15^th, how he had persuaded her to marry him for real...and ended his long tale by letting them know of Khushi's desire to go away from all of them, especially him. He also gave an account of where he had left her. By the time he finished his narration there was not a single dry eye in the room. Arnav was relieved by telling it like it is and he took the responsibility of all the things that had occurred, and owned up that the fault lay with him and never Khushi. She had just stood upright doing her duty by saving face of both the families. But, he had not been happy to deceive his family and the circumstances and his clouded thinking had forced him to do so for quite some time. He sighed at the blunder of humongous proportion that he had committed.                       
                                                                                    
Nani coming to know her grandson's behavior straight from the horse's mouth was livid and chided him by letting him know her disappointment in him saying, he has behaved extremely badly with her Khushi Bitiya. Only he was culpable for such reprehensive act. Arnav nodded concurring with her that he had behaved very badly. Anjali who was shedding tears copiously told him that, sometimes he was so censurable, he was just too much. She wondered how did Khushiji put up with him. Anjali buried her head in her hands. NK was staggered to hear that his friend, Khushiji was under such duress that she never even let anyone have an inkling of what was really going on and his Nannav had behaved abominably. He criticized Nannav forthrightly saying that he had made sure that she passed through hell and he had been a husband from hell for her. Payal was weeping silently. Mami exclaimed that he had fooled all of them easily even his Manorama Bond Mami! Akash let out a weary sigh and said, they never knew and had no idea that Bhai was under so much pressure and he was bearing the burden all alone. Arnav told Akash that he was sorry, the minute he had found out about Shyam he should have taken his and NK's help. It would have helped them to deal effectively with Shyam and earlier too. Khushi keeps telling him that he need not do everything on his own, but he was so used to it and she is right. Arnav shook his head in self-depreciation.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
The ladies could not stop the stream of tears from their eyes. They kept on sniffing and wiping endlessly. Nani, Anjali and Mami made their views about the whole debacle clear, putting all the blame on Arnav, for he was cruel and his behavior was uncalled for. Nani told him nobody else would have tolerated his behavior other than her decent Khushi Bitiyaa. He was beyond redemption and she was tired of his thoughtless acts that have severe repercussions on others. He never gives it a thought before being overpowered by his anger and his words were so sharp that they lacerated the receiver unmercifully and how Khushi Bitiyaa took it all was something she could not even comprehend! Nani made it loud and clear, that he was the perpetrator and her Bitiyaa the victim. The fault lay solely with him and she was ashamed of his act. His Di berated, when he himself was sensitive and would get hurt if anyone even spoke about their past and their parents, how could he stoop so low as not to be sensitive to others feelings, especially Khushiji's feelings. She who always sided with him and consoled him was extremely angry with him this time and was in no mood to pamper him. She thought that it was a blot on his character for having hurt Khushiji using her parents. Mami too joined the chiding brigade and told her mother-in-law, that Khushi did right in going away. Let her go, at least she may then find some peace that had eluded her in this Shantivan. Shantivan, instead of being a place of peace as the name suggests, it had been a mine filled battlefield for her. At least let her escape this nightmare and live in peace wherever she is.
Arnav looked at his hands, held locked between his spread knees. He knew that he richly deserved all they said, but it was nothing in comparison to what he felt. He had fallen in everyone's eyes and more so in his own. Finally, the sister in Payal could not control herself, fearing to voice out, yet braving it out, she asked what was on the tip of the tongue of every member of the family there, but had held back in fear, lest it came true, will Khushi ever come back? Her voice was broken when she asked, but Arnav was firm and definite when he replied, that she will. NK who was feeling extremely bad for not comprehending what was going on with his friend, questioned why should she, Nannav? Was it to be yelled by you? Nani too joined him, with a glint in her eyes that spoke his actions and words did not bode well with her asking, was there anything more left for him to shout at? Any more insults and incisive words left over to tell her? To allow such disparagement would be an unfortunate lapse on their part. Arnav told his Nani that she will come back because she loves him more than her own life and also because he loves her more than his own life.
All the four ladies were relieved to hear it. It had for once robbed them of their speech. It was NK who broke the silence. He was flummoxed to hear that Nannav loved Khushiji! Scratching his head he told Naniji that, so far he had thought being in love meant giving roses, going on dates, candlelight dinner, and romantic walk in the rain... But Nannav shows his love by shouting at Khushiji, being angry with her... She told him that his Nannav was a specimen, one of his kind and of a rare breed! So his love will also be special, filled with abuses and shouting. Khushi Bitiyaa's love for Chotey and Chotey's love for Khushi Bitiyaa were both liability as well as an asset! She sympathized from her heart with her Khushi Bitiyaa. She told Chotey that she could understand Khushi Bitiyaa wanting to go far away from him, but how could she decide to leave them all? Nani was overcome by sadness while Anjali and Mami nodded. In fact all the three were filled with guilt of varying degree for making Khushi move away from them. Payal asked her Jethji, whether Khushi was happy and was she safe? When Arnav nodded, a thought came to Payal and her face drained off its color. She told them Amma, Babuji and Buaji are yet to know and Arnav told her, that it was his duty and responsibility to let them know and he was obligated to do so. He would go to Laxmi Nagar and talk to them now and stood up to go.

Arnav Singh Raizada who never shirked from taking responsibility for his actions, who always had the innate sense to respect the truth once he sees it, the basic traits of a good businessman, was not averse to owning up to his mistakes even in his personal life. As acknowledged by him the sinister hand of his uncontrollable anger was far reaching. It was a liability that caused him to do things without a thought at the repercussions on others. But his sense of fairness did not allow him to ease out without taking the deadweight on his shoulders. That was what this update was all about, a difficult, disagreeable responsibility but a necessary one that he was obligated to bear.
That is why this update is titled ONUS.
"The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually  the   same"                   
                                 ~ Steve Maraboli,                                                                Life, the Truth, and Being Free
That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

Part 17

Girija Devi looked at a Khushi who was making jalebi. Her eyes were on the bubbling oil in a huge pan and her hands were busy making coils & coils of batter in the oil. Near her were big baskets of jalebis and vats of sugar syrup.

“How is the new girl?” Girija Devi asked Tiwariji.

“Hard working. And neat. And best of all, she does not speak much. Only when necessary.” Tiwariji mumbled through his pan-filled mouth.

Girija Devi nodded, noticing the dark circles under Khushi’s eyes.

 “Don’t expect her to stay long, Tiwari Chacha.” she warned the irascible old man. “I have already sent word to Nathu Ram. He will join you after a month. His wife is much better now.”

Tiwari looked at Girija Devi. “Aisan kaa?” he asked.

Girija Devi smiled. “It is a sin to keep a wife away from her husband, isn’t it Tiwari Chacha? Especially when they love each other a lot?”

Tiwariji frowned. “Then what is she doing here, making jalebi for my children?”

“Something is wrong. Let me find out what that is. We will solve the problem.” She reassured him.

“Hhmmppff…” Tiwariji, the brahmachari made his contempt for marriage & love-lorn couples clear.

Girija Devi chuckled.

Nandini hovered near the entrance to the kitchen.

Tiwariji looked at her with cold eyes. Girija Devi asked her, “Kya hua, Nandini?”

“Khushiji had left her phone in her room.” Phones were not allowed in Tiwariji’s kitchen. “It has been ringing continuously for the past 1 hour, Madam… If it is something important…” Nandini’s voice trailed off.

“I am going to break your rule, Tiwari Chacha. My instinct tells me that we will get some information out of this.” Girija Devi whispered to Tiwariji as she held her hand out for the phone. Nandini handed over the phone & left.

“You are going to eavesdrop on her phone conversation?” Tiwariji asked, scandalised.

“How else can I know what is going on?” Girija Devi laughed, her infectious laughter bringing a twinkle in Tiwariji’s reluctant eyes.

“Pagli kahin ka!” Tiwariji exclaimed as he moved away to check on the rice. “You are worse than the children!”

“Acha? Don’t think I don’t know that you give small children peanut candy and jalebi through the small window at the corner, just as you used to give me when I was a child!”

“Hhmmmpppfff!” Tiwariji snorted.

Girija Devi checked the log. Naniji, Anjaliji, Jiji, Mami, Akash Jiju, Nanheji, Buaji…. And lots of Arnavjis.

Were they her relations? If so, she had a big family. Then why was she here, leaving all of them behind?

“Khushi…” she called.

Khushi looked up, saw Girija Devi, reduced the flame of the stove, and stood up.

“Nandini said that your phone has been ringing continuously for the past one hour. It might be something important. Why don’t you go to the store and call them back? Now.” the matronly lady suggested.

Khushi looked anxiously at Tiwariji. He left the rice and took over her low stool in front of the jalebi pan, giving her silent permission to call home.

Khushi went to the store and checked her phone. She paled as she saw the names. Arnavji must have told them the truth.

She called home, and talked to all of them, one after the other.

Girija Devi sat on a low bench just outside the store room, a book of accounts in her hand, turning pages occasionally. Her full attention was on the conversation inside.

“Buaji, I am alright…I didn’t know how to tell you…”

“Amma, I am happy…Don’t worry about me…”

“Babuji, I am very happy…I didn’t want to stay in Delhi…”

“Naniji, please don’t apologise to me. You are so much older than me, and I… No, I am not angry…No, I am not upset…”

“Anjaliji, please don’t cry…No, it is not because of you…”

“Jiji, I am fine. I am happy…Jiji, take care of Arnavji…”

“Mamiji, I am not angry with Arnavji. Yes, yes, we wil meet again…”

“Jiju, I am fine…”

“Nanheji, yes, I miss all of you too…”

Girija Deviji smiled.

When Khushi came out of the store room and took over her duty at the jalebi pan, Girija Devi sat by her on a stool.

“Is there an emergency at home, Khushi?” she asked.

“Err, no, Girija Deviji. They just wanted to know that I was safe.” Khushi said softly, her eyes slightly red from her tears, a smile on her lips.

“I see. Do you have  a big family?” the crafty lady asked.

“Ji. That is, my Amma, Babuji, & Buaji. My Jiji & Jiju. My Nani… that is Arnavji’s Nani, Di, & Mami. He has 2 brothers, Akashji & Nanheji… that is Nandkisore. I call him Nanheji. My Jiji is married to Akashji.” Khushi explained.

“Oh, the two sisters are married to two brothers!” Girija Devi commented lightly.

“Ji.” Khushi tried to smile.

“Your parents have only two daughters, Khushi?” Girija Devi asked, shifting her weight on the stool.

“Ji…That is, my Jiji is not really my Jiji. My parents are dead. I call my aunt Amma now.” Khushi explained.

“Oh, so you are an orphan.”

“Ji.”

"But how can you be an orphan when you have so many people who love you?" Girija Devi asked with a smile.

Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Part 17
This update is about scouting, exploring with the goal of finding what the real state is... RECONNOITRE
When Girija Devi looked at Khushi, who was engrossed in making jalebis, her eyes took in that Khushi's eyes were on the bubbling oil in a huge pan and her hands were busy swishing and swirling coils and coils of batter into the oil. Close by, were big baskets of jalebis and vats of sugar syrup. The jalebis were looking inviting and delectable. She enquired with Tiwariji how he found his new help. Tiwariji juggling words and the pan mumbled, that she was hard working, neat, and over and above, quiet and keeps to herself. She speaks out only when necessary. Girija Devi nodded and noticing the dark circles under Khushi's eyes betraying her sleepless nights and the stress she was under told her Tiwari Chacha, not to expect her to stay long. She had already sent word to Nathu Ram who has said, that he would join in a month's time as his wife was recovering now. The testy old man wanted to know, was that the way the wind was blowing? What was the matter? Girija Devi told him that, it would be a sin to keep a wife away from her husband, is it not? Especially when they love each other a lot? Tiwariji with a frown asked her, then what was she doing there, making jalebi for his children? Girija Devi told him that, something was wrong. Somehow things did not fit in properly. It called for subtle probing. She reassured him that she would first find out what that was and then they could solve the problem. Tiwariji, a die-hard brahmachari grunted, an Hhmmppff..., stressing once again his contempt for marriage and lovelorn couples clearly, making Girija Devi chuckle at his expression.
Nandini, who was hovering around the kitchen, received a cold stare from Tiwariji for entering the forbidden area, his domain, his kitchen. Girija Devi asked her, what happened? She told gingerly fearing Tiwariji and his response, that Khushiji had left her cell phone in her room and it had been ringing quite continuously for the past one hour, and had wondered if it was something urgent..., and her voice trailed off knowing very well that phones were prohibited in Tiwariji's kitchen and she was in line of fire from him for her audacity to bring in the phone. Taking the cell phone from Nandini, Girija Devi whispered to her Tiwari Chacha, that she was going to break his rule and her gut feeling was that, they could get some clue out of this. It was right time to search for answers. After handing the phone, Nandini scooted away as fast as she could from the realm of the irascible old man. Tiwariji was scandalized realizing what Girija Devi was up to and asked her for confirmation, whether she was going to eavesdrop on Khushi's telephone conversation? He balked at the prospect of Girija Devi resorting to such a method. Without prying around or listening to the snippets of Khushi's conversation, how else was she going to know what was going on there then? was her quip, followed by the tinkle of laughter, bringing a twinkle in Tiwariji's reluctant eyes.  Tiwariji exclaiming, crazy as ever! Worse than the children! moved away to check on the rice that was being cooked. His retort earned a naughty inquiry from her. Is that so? She revealed that, she knew that he dispensed out peanut candy and jalebi to small kids through the small window at the corner, just like he used to give her when she was a child! All it got was a snort of exasperated, Hhmmmpppfff!
Once she got the phone, Girija Devi examined the log directory and found calls from Naniji, Anjaliji, Jiji, Mami, Akash Jiju, Nanheji, Buaji... And lots from Arnavji's missed calls logged in. Her scrutiny made her wonder were they her relatives? If it was then she really had a big family. Then the question was, why was she there having such a big family behind her? After considering the number of names and the missed calls entered there, she thought to know the answers she needed Khushi to call them and called out, Khushi... Khushi looked up to see Girija Devi and reducing the flame stood up. The rotund motherly figure, informed in a soft voice that, Nandini had brought her cell phone as it was ringing continuously for the past hour. It might be something quite important. She suggested, why not go to the store now and call them back and find out what was the reason? As Khushi looked at Tiwariji with anxiety, he left the rice ladle and took over the slotted spoon in front of the jalebi pan giving her the silent permission to call home.
As Khushi went to the store and checked out her calls she paled as she saw the names realizing that Arnavji must have told them the truth. She called home and talked to all of them one after the other. Girija Devi made herself comfortable on a low bench that was placed just outside the store room. She listened to the conversation under the cover of checking accounts from the account book in her hand and turning the pages occasionally while her mind was riveted on the one side of the conversation she could hear. She listened carefully and she heard, Khushi telling her Buaji that she was all right and she had not known how to tell her; with her Amma that she is happy and not to worry about her; with her Babuji, that she was very happy and she had not wanted to stay in Delhi; with Naniji asking her not to apologize as she was very much her elder and she was not angry or upset; with Anjaliji, asking her not to cry and it was not because of her; with her Jiji, she was fine and happy and to take care of Arnavji; with Mamiji that she was not angry with Arnavji and would meet again; with Jiju that she was fine; with Nanheji that she misses all too, making Girija Devi smile. As the first step in her probe, Girija Devi found out from the conversation that, out there back in Delhi there was a large family that loved her and she had come out due to some fall out involving various members.
As Khushi came out of the store room and took charge of the jalebi pan, Girija Devi sat by her on a stool and asked was there an emergency back home. Khushi with her eyes slightly reddened and a smile, tripping slightly over her words said that, they wanted to know that she was safe and sound. Girija Devi enquired craftily, whether she has a big family. Khushi explained that her Amma, Babuji and Buaji, her Jiji and Jiju. Her Nani... she paused and said that is Arnavji's Nani, Di and Mami. He has 2 brothers, Akashji & Nanheji... that is Nandkisore. She calls him Nanheji. Her Jiji was married to Akashji. Khushi gave her the entire family picture succinctly. Girija Devi got quite a good picture of Khushi's family from her gentle exploration and to lighten the mood stated then the two sisters were married to two brothers making Khushi smile. Girija Devi making her rotund figure comfortable on the stool probed further under the cover of striking casual conversation, whether her parents have only two daughters? Khushi answered, yes, and corrected that, her Jiji was not really her Jiji. Her own parents were no more and whom she calls her Amma now is really her aunt. Girija Devi pried further by stating, then, in fact she was an orphan. When Khushi concurred, Girija Devi after reviewing all that Khushi told her, asked her with a smile hovering on her lips as though she was playing with a kid with a logic game, how she can be an orphan when she has so many people who love her.
Girija Devi in her first foray of reconnaissance was able to garner that Khushi hailed from a big family that cared for her and from her conversation with her family that she was under duress that had involved the entire family and she had not even told her parents that she was coming over there. Probing further, Giraja Devi realized that Khushi was indeed an orphan and had lost her moorings somewhere in between. So after a quick inspection of the facts she questioned her how she can be an orphan when she has so many people who love her, gently pointing out that in a family big or small, it is being loved is what that matters. She is lucky to have one such family. Squabbles pass by but the warmth and love always prevails in the end. So with a family behind her how can she consider herself to be all alone? It was a gentle nudge for Khushi to think over.

The Raizadas' and Guptas' were also exploring Khushi's reaction to them and their overtures, knowing very well they too had been guilty at one time or the other along with Arnav.  It was this that was making them tread gingerly around her. They were apprehensive that their reprehensible actions were also the cause for Khushi to uproot herself.
That is why it is titled RECONNOITRE.
"Everything and everyone has a place to be. It is just a    matter of how they get there and when. You have a  place;       you just have to find it"
                                 ~ Nadege Richards,                                                                     Burning Bridges
That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

Part 18

Arnav left the dining table. All looked at his plate, worried frowns on their faces. It was untouched.

Seeing that Arnav Bhaiyya had not eaten a morsel, HP ran to get a glass of milk for him.

Weary beyond belief, Arnav dropped his head on his pillow. Khushi… Her jasmine scent seemed to fill the room. He turned his head to look at her pillow. He pulled it in to his arms and hugged it, trying to sleep. She must have finished her work now and returned to her room. How could he call her and disturb her? As he buried his face in to its softness, a tear left his eyes, fell on the pillow, and got absorbed in the fabric.

Khushi fell in to bed, exhausted. Twelve at night. Arnavji must be asleep now.

She picked up her phone. Unable to control herself, she called him. 

Arnav snatched up his phone.

“Khushi…?” his voice carried his eagerness to the girl listening to him, far away from him.

“Arnavji…Are you alright?”

“Yes, tum?” Arnav asked.

“I am fine. I am getting used to the work now.” Khushi tried to smile. “Naniji, Buaji, Anjaliji, Nanheji, Jiji, Jiju, Mamiji, Amma, & Babuji called me today.”

Arnav swallowed.

“They…they apologised…Arnavji, they think I left because of them…”

“Hhmm…” Arnav replied.

‘Arnavji, please tell them that I didn’t leave because of them.” Khushi pleaded.

Arnav said, “You left because we made it impossible for you to stay, Khushi. Especially I.”

“Arnavji…!” Khushi protested.

“Khushi, are you happy?” he asked.

Khushi could not find words to answer him. She parted her lips twice to tell him that she was very happy, but the lie just would not leave her mouth.

Arnav smiled sadly.

Khushi turned from side to side, trying hard to find a comfortable place in her bed to sleep. She was exhausted, but sleep evaded her. Her small bed felt too large for her, her arms felt empty, she felt cold…

She shut her eyes and hugged herself, imagining that her arms were Arnavji’s. She imagined she could feel his warmth behind her as he spooned her, the weight of his hard arm around her waist, his warm breath against her ear…

“Arnavji…” she whispered as she fell asleep.

NK drove his family to Varanasi at the end of the first week. Akash was driving the car with Buaji, Payal, Amma, & Babuji. They had made it clear to Arnav that they did not expect him to accompany them to Varanasi.

Girija Devi watched the large group of people wait for permission to meet Khushi, get it from her office, and then enter the building housing Khushi’s room. Girija Devi took her place in a room in the next building, and watched & heard the tearful reunion. All the ladies hugged Khushi and Khushi hugged all of them, smiling through her tears. Girija Devi sighed seeing the smile on Khushi's face, a smile that had been missing for one week. 

Finally, the family went inside Khushi’s room to check it out.

They looked around. She had added four pots of flowering jasmine bushes to her balcony.

“Woh…the mali said I could have them.” Khushi said. She didn’t have to tell them that she was trying to keep Arnavji close by surrounding herself with plants.

They nodded. No one spoke of Arnav.

Finally, as they were about to leave, Khushi asked Payal, “Jiji, how is Arnavji?”

Payal frowned. “He is alright.”

“Jiji, were they very angry with him when he told them the truth?” Khushi’s heart thudded in fear.

“Very. He deserved it.” Payal said bluntly.

Tears filled Khushi’s eyes.

She went to Naniji, & said, “Naniji, please don’t be angry with Arnavji. All of it was not his fault. The circumstances, my silence… any one would have misunderstood me…”

Nani looked at the pale girl in front of her with fond eyes. Chotey was so lucky to get a wife who loved him inspite of his nasty tongue and cruel ways.

“Dekho, our Titliyaa is defending Arnav Bitwaa, Nandkisore!” Buaji exclaimed, a small smile on her lips.

“Chotey was wrong, Khushiji. He has to face the punishment for his mistakes.” Anjali was very firm.

A tear trailed down Khushi’s pale cheek. The Raizadas sighed inwardly.

“Saaumma, I can’t bears this anymore!” Mami exclaimed. “Here, Khussi is crying like a leaky Corporation tap and there, Arnav Bitwaa is on bhook hartal!”

“Manorama!” Nani chided softly. Khushi’s eyes widened.

“Hamre Arnav Bitwaa loves Khussi. She loves hamre Arnav Bitwaa. To problem kya he, Hello Hi Bye Bye?” Mami asked.

“Mami!” Anjali protested.

“Ab aisan to naahi he na, ki hamre Arnav Bitwaa pretended to be nice but was bad? He was always bad.” Mami explained. “He was always khadoos, always angry. If he looked at a pot of milk, we could makes paneer from it!”

“Maate!” Akash said.

“Kyun Maate! Maate! kar rahe ho? Truths is truths. Khussi Bitiyya phell (fell) in love with Shatrugnan Sinha. Now bhat (what) ijj the ujj (use) of expecting Shatrugnan Sinha to become Rishi Kapoor?”

Her family bundled Mami out of the room. They didn’t notice Girija Devi  frowning.

Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Part 18.
This update is about the quality or state of being true, that which is in accordance with fact or reality. It is about TRUTH.
When Arnav left the dining table leaving behind an untouched plate, all became worried. It was a certainty that Arnav was stewing in his own juice. He was neither able to tell others nor bear it. He had only himself to blame for his predicament. A fact that did not go unnoticed by the rest. Seeing that his Arnav Bhaiyya had not touched a morsel, HP hurried to fetch a glass of milk lest he sleeps on empty stomach. Weary beyond belief, Arnav placed his head on his pillow only to feel that Khushi's jasmine scent emanating from every part of his room. Turning his head, his eyes sought her pillow and he pulled it into his arms trying to get solace from it. He tried hugging it to get some sleep. His mind drifted to what Khushi must be doing then. He looked at the time and realized that she must have finished her work by then and ready to turn in feeling pretty tired. How could he call and disturb her. Though he had given in to her pleadings and let her go, in reality he was missing her extremely. All that he had taken for granted when she was around seem to be mocking at him. He who had thought himself infallible was proven wrong time and again. As he buried his face into the softness of the pillow, a tear ran down and vanished into the pillow showing that the honest truth was he too was dependent and there was nothing wrong in being so if the person who happens to be your life-line is your soul-mate.
When Khushi eased her tired limbs on her bed, it was midnight. She thought Arnavji must be sound asleep. Unable to control herself, she called him. Hearing the ringtone, Arnav grabbed his phone and eagerly said Khushi? The genuineness of his happiness to hear her voice was felt by his girl listening far away. She asked, whether he was fine? He told her he was, and asked what about her? Attempting to smile, she told him that she was, and was getting used to her work now. Naniji, Buaji, Anjaliji, Nanheji, Jiji, Jiju, Mamiji, Amma, and Babuji had called her that day. Arnav reminded of the harshness he had unleashed on her swallowed hard, as she continued that, they had apologized and they think that she had left because of them. All Arnav could say was, hmmm, showing her that he had her attention. Khushi pleaded with him to tell them that, her reasons for leaving were not them. Arnav told her that, she left because all together had made it impossible for her to stay, especially him and that was actually what happened. As Khushi protested, Arnavji...! he asked her, was she happy? It was a simple query, she found very difficult to answer. She could not find words to tell him. For if she told him that she was happy it amounted nothing but resorting to falsehood. She tried to voice out but she could not utter a word as she could not bring herself to do so. Arnav smiled sadly at the silence as he knew, in all trueness she was not at all happy and she was not the one who would resort to false hood.
Khushi tossed and turned in her bed unable to relax. Sleep eluded her though she was dog-tired. She felt her small bed too large for her, her arms empty and she felt cold all alone. She shut her eyes tight hugging herself, imagining that it was Arnavji's arms hugging her and feel the warmth of Arnavji's body behind as he spooned her and the weight of his hard arm lying around her waist, his warm breath teasing her ear... With a whispered Arnavji she was out like a light. The naked truth that she was confronting was, she misses her Arnavji more than anything and anybody else. Though he had given her tough times it was his gentleness whenever it surfaced was overpowering every other thought in her.
NK drove his family to Varanasi at the end of the first week, while Akash was driving the car with Buaji, Payal, Amma and Babuji. They had clearly forbidden Arnav to accompany them to Varanasi as they thought, in principle he deserved it. Girija Devi watched as the large group trudged into her office seeking permission to meet Khushi. Girija Devi watched and listened to the tearful reunion from a room in the next building overlooking the building housing Khushi. All the ladies hugged Khushi and Khushi hugged all of them, smiling through her tears. Girija Devi sighed happy to see the smile break on Khushi's face, a smile that had been missing for one week. Finally, the family went in to check out her quarters. They looked around. She had added four pots of flowering jasmine bushes to her balcony. Khushi explained that the mali had let her have it. She thought she need not disclose the real reason as it was her attempt to keep her Arnavji close by surrounding herself with plants. They nodded but everyone knew what it stood for. The inside track of Khushi missing her Arnavji was visible for all. They did not even mention Arnav in the passing. Finally as they were about to leave, Khushi asked her Jiji, how was Arnavji? Payal frowned while answering, that he was alright. Khushi with her heart drumming with fear asked her, were they very angry with him when he told them the truth?  Payal, who was furious with him for having treated her sister despicably, told her bluntly, that he deserved all he got. Hearing her Jiji's harsh words, tears pooled up in her eyes. She went to Naniji and asked her not to be angry with Arnavji. All of it was not his fault. The circumstances, her silence... any one would have misunderstood her... Nani looked with fond eyes at Khushi who had gone pale with the knowledge that her Arnavji had to listen to harsh words from the family. She was glad that Chotey was so lucky to get a wife who loved him in spite of his nasty tongue and cruel ways. She was glad that Chotey's wife was an easily forgiving person for she needed it very much with Chotey and his behavior. Buaji was pleased to see her Titliyaa defending Damaadji and exclaimed so. But Anjali was firm and told her that Chotey was wrong and he has to face the consequence of his action and she was determined that he would do so too. The sternness in Anjali's voice, added verisimilitude to her already beleaguered mind, and a tear trailed down Khushi's cheek. The Raizadas' sighed inwardly. The truth was, come what may, Arnav was embedded in Khushi's heart for her lifetime. Even though he possessed a cold calculated and stubborn nature added with his sternness, it was all super imposed by the positive side of him. He had successfully inveigled into her being and meshed with the very fabric of her life.
Mami who was known to resort to dramatics but give a cut and dry opinion told her mother-in-law that she cannot bear it anymore! Here Khushi is crying like a leaky faucet and there Arnav Bitwaa was on hunger strike! Nani's chiding, Manorama, was of no use. Khushi became aware that Arnav was not taking his food properly making her eyes widen with horror. Mami continued to say that, Arnav Bitwaa loves Khushi and Khushi loves Arnav Bitwaa. Then what was the problem? Anjali's protest, Mami..., too had no impact! Mami defending her nephew, told that it was not like Arnav Bitwaa pretended to be nice and was not so? He was always the same not good! He was always arrogant, always angry. For, if he had stared at a pot of milk it would have curdled and they could make paneer out of it. She was overcome by the unhappiness that was in her Bitwaa's life. For her Arnav, Anjali and Akash were all the same. When one was hurt she too would hurt. So seeing her Arnav Bitwaa suffering from being away from his wife and the cause of that suffering, Khushi too was suffering by being away from her husband she could not find any logic in their suffering altogether! Brushing aside Akash's protest, Maathe!, she gave the plain talk, why was he chanting Maate! Maate!? Truth is always truth. Khushi Bitiyaa fell in love with Shatrughan Sinha, the Shot-gun Sinha. Now what was the use of wishing Shatrughan Sinha to become the lover- boy Rishi Kapoor? Coming out with unvarnished truth, Mami made known to Khushi that her Arnavji however much he says he is fine, was not at all so. Her family deciding enough has been spoken on that topic rushed Mami out of the room. In this melee, they did not see, Girija Devi observing them with a frown.
This was how Girija Devi got a better picture of the state of things between Arnav and Khushi and Khushi came to face with the reality that Arnav will never voice his necessity of having her by his side with the fear of pressurizing her into yet another decision.
That is why it is titled TRUTH.
"The truth does not change according to our ability to       stomach it"
                               ~ Flannery O'Connor
That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

Part 19

Arnav fingered the colourful salwar kameez hanging in his wardrobe. Khushi… He brought a dupatta to his face and breathed in her jasmine fragrance. His throat constricted, his lashes fell over wet eyes.

“Arnav Bhaiyya!” came the meek call from the door.

Arnav turned around.

“Di sent juice. Aap please pi lijiyegaa.” HP quickly left the tray on the laptop table and left the room.

Arnav sighed, and turned to shut the sliding door of his wardrobe. Something bright caught his eye. Something hidden under Khushi’s clothes. He pulled it out.

It was a yellow notebook. The notebook in which he had seen Khushi pen down God-only-knew-what.

He flipped the cover to see the covering page.

‘Arnav Singh Raizada Ko Satane Ke Sau Tareeke’

Arnav smiled.

He opened the next page.

She had listed the many ways in which she could irk him. Steal his bathroom from him, occupy his cupboard, change his room to suit her, tease him by addressing him as ‘Swami’…

Arnav burst out laughing. Khushi was nothing but enterprising. Having found herself in a miserable spot in RM, she had tried to make the best of it!

On the next page, she had listed the amounts she owed him.

My debt:

1 lakh: for breaking the AR Designs contract: Paid by teaching Lavanyaji how to be a sanskari bahu.

25,000: for riding Bediji’s scooter in to Arnavji’s car.

30,000: Babuji’s bill at the hospital.

300: for buying Holi colours.

I owe Arnavji Rs.55,300.

Arnav leaned his head against the wardrobe door, his eyes shut.

“Arnavji…”

He turned to look towards the door.

Payal stood there.

“Are you alright?”

Arnav nodded.

“Khushi…she will be worried if you become sick.”

“I will be fine.” Arnav said.

“She…she calls me daily…to ask after you…” Payal confessed.

Arnav smiled.

Khushi soon got used to the work schedule, and found that she had a couple of hours to rest after she had prepared lunch.

She called Arnavji.

Arnav was in his office, attending a meeting of his managers. Akash was with him. In the middle of a heated discussion, ASR’s phone rang. The finance manager almost swallowed his dentures. ASR was fanatical about keeping all phones switched off during all meetings. All looked at each other.

Arnav looked at the display. Khushi! He jumped up from his seat, muttering “Excuse me.” He left the room on rapid feet, not seeing Akash’s smile or the astonishment of his employees.

“Khushi? Are you free now?” he asked hopefully.

“Ji. I have 2 hours free. I am about to go down to make garlands for the evening pooja. So I thought I will call you now. Arnavji, where are you?”

“Office.”

“Did you have lunch?”

Arnav frowned. Did he? He couldn’t remember. “Yes, I think I did.”

“What did you have?” Khushi persisted.

“Err…roti, I think. Rice. Something with karela. Some sabzi. It was brown in colour…” Arnav tried hard to recollect.

“Arnavji, please take care of your health. I am not there to nag you. So please, please take care of yourself. Or I will phone Di and…” Khushi threatened.

“No, no. Don’t set her after me. I will eat well. By the time you come back, I will be healthy.”

There was a pause.

Then he said, “Khushi, I saw your notebook.”

Khushi’s eyes went wide and her mouth was a perfect ‘O’.

Arnav smiled. “100 ways to irk Arnav Singh Raizada?”

Khushi blushed.

“They were very successful, I must admit.” Arnav laughed. “Calling me ‘Swami’…ha..ha..your Aaj Mausam He Suhaana…Now I am going to write a book.”

Akash came out to call Arnav, saw him laughing, and left him alone. He knew that Bhai must be talking to Khushiji.

Arnav whispered, “100 Ways to Love Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada!"

Khushi blushed a fiery red.

"Khushi, I love you. I love your naughtiness. I love your smile. It starts in your heart, shines in your eyes, and then comes to your lips…” Arnav murmured, his husky voice and his sincerity adding potency to the words.

Khushi swallowed.

“Khushi, I miss you so much. So much. It is like I have been cut in to two.” he confessed.

“It is so difficult to draw breath, Arnavji. I miss you too.” The words fell from her lips. Tears filled her eyes.

“Khushi…” he whispered.

“I am going down to make garlands, Arnavji. Hum phoone rakte he!”

Girija Devi pulled a chair close to Khushi, and watched her passing the needle through orange & yellow marigold flowers, making long, colourful chains with the flowers.

“You are very quick at this, Khushi.” she remarked.

“Ji.” Khushi smiled slightly. “Di conducts poojas regularly. So I am used to making malas.”

Girija Devi smiled. “Di is your husband’s sister?”

“Ji.”

“I saw your family and your husband’s family when they came to meet you 2 weeks back.” Girija said.

“Ji.”

“They seem to love you a lot.”

“Ji.” Khushi smiled.

“But you are here, far away from them, even though you don’t need the money.” Girija paused.

Khushi paled.

“If the problem is not with your in-laws, then it must be with your husband. Is he cruel to you? Is that why you are hiding away in Varanasi while he is in Delhi?” Girija Devi was sympathetic, her voice low so that no one else could hear her.

“Cruel? Arnavji? No, of course not.” Khushi defended her husband. “He is the kindest man alive. It is just that because he looks khadoos and stern, people misunderstand him. Woh kya he, he doesn’t speak much. So people think he is very arrogant.”

“Really?” Girija Devi injected scepticism in to her voice.

“Really. Girija Deviji, if he weren’t kind, would he pay Babuji’s hospital bills? Would he fight goons to protect me? Would he give himself up to the kidnappers so that I could be safe? Would he rescue me from the guest house? Would he  join me on the stage for Jiji’s sangeet and lose his bet so that I could win?”

“He did all that for you?” the lady asked.

“Ji. And more. I have never met a more decent or loving man in my entire life.  Other than my Babuji.”

“Acha? So apparently he loves you.” the lady murmured.

“Ji.” Khushi was firm on that point.

“But you don’t love him.” the lady declared.

“Ji?” Khushi frowned.

“Otherwise why would you leave such a good man, who loves you so much, and come all the way to Varanasi to escape him?” Girija Devi asked.

Khushi stared at her, open-mouthed. The she admitted in a low voice, “I love him. More than my life.”

“Acha?” Girija Devi leaned back casually. “That is good to know. But if you don’t use this love, of what use is it?”

Khushi stared at her.

“There are no certainties about life. The only certainty is death. And death will take all of us. It will take your Nani and my Tiwari Chacha, it will take me and you, it will take your husband and your sister. If you spend your time making jalebi in Varanasi, you are wasting time you could spend with your husband in this world. And you won’t get this time back.” Girija Devi confessed.

Khushi felt her eyes fill.

“My husband had a problem with his heart. When we got married, the doctors said that he would have only about 5 years to live.”

Khushi stared at her, slack-jawed.

“We lived every moment to the fullest. Every single moment. So I have no regrets. It has been 25 years since he passed away, but the memories of those 5 years are enough to bring a smile to my face. Even now.” she smiled.

Khushi dried her face.

Girija Devi stood up to leave. “You have one more week before your probation ends. Think about your future and decide whether you are going to stay here or not.”

Khushi looked at her, her face pale.

Girija Devi smiled. “Deciding to stay is not difficult. But living with your decision will be difficult.” She walked away, leaving Khushi to think.

Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Part 19

This update is about a way of thinking about something, a sensible way of judging how good, bad, important something is in comparison with other things, in a word PERSPECTIVE.

Arnav stood before his wardrobe that held both his as well as Khushi's clothes. His field of view was Khushi's side of the wardrobe. Running his hand through the colourful salwar sets that had brightened his wardrobe just like his life had become colourful from the black and white it was before by the advent of its owner he brought a dupatta to his face and breathed in the jasmine fragrance, a fragrance very Khushi-like one that he had come to associate with her. Just the fragrance brought in a deep yearning in him for her and his throat wobbled with emotions that he controlled with extreme effort and in the end had to shutter his lashes to stop the pooled tears from spilling out. Yet, the eyelashes fanning his cheek were moistened with the wisp of glittering tears. From his standpoint it was quite a hopeless situation. Arnav Bhaiyya, came the meek call from the door, informing the presence of HP. As Arnav turned around, HP placing the tray on the low table told him that Di had sent him juice and requested him to drink it and quickly cleared out of the room.

Arnav sighed and turned to close the wardrobe and as he was sliding the door his eyes caught something bright peeping out that had been hidden under Khushi's clothes. As he pulled it out he saw that it was the yellow book that Khushi used to pen down diligently God-only-knew-what. Flipping through the cover page, he saw that it was written as 'Arnav Singh Raizada Ko Satane Ke Sau Tareeke' 100 ways to torment Arnav Singh Raizada.  The title itself brought out a smile in him as it gave him an insight to her way of looking. As he opened the next page, he found much to his amusement that she had listed out the many ways in which she could irk him. It held, out beat him at the chance to use his bathroom, occupy his cupboard, and change his room to suit her, tease him by addressing him as 'Swami'... Arnav burst out laughing coming to know the various means she had used to irk him had in fact endeared her to him for her quaint ways, so very, very, Khushi like! It showed her mindset that was to bounce back from the miserable situation she was pushed into as at RM and she had made the best of the situation, very enterprising indeed! His heart swelled with pride at his wife, for being the person she was.

As he flipped over the page he saw that she had listed the amount she owed him. She had neatly noted it down under the title, my debt. She had written the amount as well as if repaid and how. Listing the various amounts, under all the others she had written the total sum owing Arnavji as Rs.55,300. For her, returning the amount was of utmost importance as it had always been conjoined with her dignity.  Arnav leaned his head against the wardrobe door, his eyes shut. All the times he had called her a gold digger came to his mind, sending him to the pit of misery. She was a person who never kept other's money and he wondered how could he accuse her to be so? His attitude towards her had been abominable and now she was feeling difficult to believe in him. As he was wallowing in his misery, he heard, Arnavji, making him look towards the door. It was Payal who had called, and asked him, was he alright? Arnav nodded. She told him that Khushi will be worried if he falls ill. Arnav assured her that he would be fine. Payal confessed that Khushi calls her everyday worried about his well being, making Arnav smile. His heart felt heavy seeing the care that Khushi took even when he had always degraded her. Now he knew, his way was very wrong, really very wrong. But he could not tell that to Payal. Could he? All he could do was smile brightly at being taken care of by his Khushi.

Khushi soon adjusted to her work schedule and one day found that she had a couple of free hours after the lunch. Hoping to spend a few minutes talking to her Arnavji, she called him. Arnav was in the middle of a meeting in his office. His managers and Akash were with him and were in the middle of a heated discussion, when ASR's phone rang. The finance manager braced himself to hear the bellow and tear a strip off the caller as ASR was fanatical about keeping all phones switched off during all meetings. All looked at each other.

Arnav taking one look at the display, seeing Khushi! jumped up from his seat rushed out of the room muttering, an excuse me! He was not aware of Akash's smile or the astonishment of his employees. What they did not know was his approach towards his personal life had undergone drastic changes. Hoping it to be so he asked Khushi, was she free? She told him that she was and has two hours of free time and in that she was about to go down to make garlands for the evening pooja. So she had thought she would talk to him for sometime. And where was he? When she came to know that he was at his office, she asked him whether he had his lunch. Arnav could not remember and he wondered with a frown did he have it? Then answered her that he thinks he had it. As Khushi persisted to know what the menu was, he tripped on words thinking what it might have been. He stated that it had roti, rice, something with karela and some brown sabzi. He could not really recall it perfectly. Khushi admonished him to take care of himself and his health as she was not there to harp on. She threatened that if he does not do it himself, she will have to take Di's help. Arnav who knew how his Di was, who would not even hesitate to emotionally blackmail him into doing things, told Khushi in a jiffy, no, not Di. Do not let her have a hold on this matter and he would take good care of himself. He would eat well on time and by the time she was coming back he would be as fit as a fiddle. Once again, he was shown what held importance in her life in comparison with other things, it was him and his well-being.

This was followed by a pause not knowing what to reply to that statement of his. Then as he said, he saw her notebook, her eyes widened and her mouth followed suit in horror. Arnav told her with a smile, 100 ways to irk Arnav Singh Raizada? making Khushi blush at her antics. He admitted with a heartfelt laughter that they were indeed successful, calling him Swami and her ditty, Aaj mausam he suhaana.. It is inspiring enough to make him write a book. When Akash came out to call Arnav and saw Bhai laughing, he left him alone. He knew that Bhai must be talking to Khushiji. That was a right stride in their relationship from his point of view. Arnav whispered to Khushi, it was inspiring enough to write, 100 Ways to Love Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada making her cheeks burn. Arnav murmured, Khushi, I love you. I love your naughtiness. I love your smile. It starts in your heart, shines in your eyes, and then comes to your lips... leading her thoughts all the way through. The sincerity in his voice adding potency to his husky murmur, made Khushi's toes curl. He confessed that he misses her very much and being away from her was like being butchered into two. Khushi too told him that it was so difficult to draw breath, she misses him too, giving him scope to hope. As the words fell out of her lips of their own free will, tears filled her eyes and Arnav breathed out Khushi... Telling him that she was going to cut the call as she was going down to make garlands, she rushed out of the room.

As Khushi was stringing orange and yellow marigold with rapid ease, Girija Devi pulled a chair close to Khushi, admiring her making long, colourful chains with the flowers. She told Khushi that she was quite quick at stringing the mala. Khushi agreed and with a slight smile told her that she was used to doing malas as Di conducts poojas regularly. Girija Devi asked her was Di her husband's sister? When Khushi nodded she told her that when two weeks back her family and her in laws had come to meet her she had seen them. From her position she felt they seemed to love her a lot, making Khushi agree with a smile. Girija Devi told her that, she had come far away from them even though she was not in need of money and paused as Khushi lost color on her face. She told Khushi that from her outlook, if her problem was not with her in-laws then it must be with her husband. Was he cruel to her? Was that why she was in Varanasi while he is at Delhi? She asked sympathetically in a low voice so that others could not overhear their conversation.

Her words spurred Khushi into action. She defended her Arnavji vehemently saying, Cruel? Arnavji? No way, of course not. He is the kindest man alive. It is just that because he looks khadoos and stern, people misunderstand him. The reality is he doesn't speak much. So people think he is very arrogant. Girija Devi asked her, really? inflecting her voice with unfelt skepticism. Khushi swore that what she said was true and if he were not so, would he pay Babuji's hospital bills? Would he fight goons to protect her? Would he give himself up to the kidnappers so that she could be safe? Would he rescue her from the guest house? Would he join her on the stage for Jiji's sangeet and lose his bet so that she could win? Girija Devi was surprised to get this overview of Arnav Singh Raizada, one not known to the world and asked, whether he did all that for her? Khushi told her all that and much more. She has never met a more decent man in her life other than her Babuji. Girija Devi murmured, so he loves her and Khushi confirmed that with a firm yes. Girija Devi taking this admission as her point for argument she objectively told Khushi that even though her husband loves her she does not love him. Her statement had Khushi frown and query what she meant by it. Girija Devi clarified, otherwise why would she leave such a gem of a man, who loves her so much, and come all the way to Varanasi to escape from him? It made Khushi stare at her, open-mouthed, then admit in a low voice, that she loves him. She loves him more than her life itself that gave Girija Devi the knowledge of importance and size of the space occupied by Arnav in Khushi's heart. Girija Devi, leaning back on her chair told her that, it was good to know that she reciprocates. But what use was this love if she does not use it? Khushi just stared at her words.

Girija Devi in her sweet way tried to knock some sense into Khushi by changing the direction of her thoughts. She tried to give her a panoramic view of life in relation to stubbornness and adamant behaviour. She told her that there are no certainties about life. The only certainty is death. And death will take all of us. It will take Khushi's Nani and her Tiwari Chacha, it will take both of them too, it will take her husband and her sister. If she spends her time making jalebi in Varanasi, she would be wasting her time that she could spend with her husband in this world. And she will not get this time back. Khushi teared up. Girija Devi continued giving her pointers told Khushi that her husband had a problem with his heart. When they got married, the doctors had given him only five years to live. Her disclosure made Khushi slack-jawed. She continued to tell her that, they had lived every moment to its fullest. Every single moment was ripe with quality moments. So she has no regrets. It had been twenty five years since he passed away, but the memories of those five glorious golden years were enough to bring a smile to her face. Even now and it would last a lifetime for her she said with a smile that lit her face at the memory. Girija Devi tried to give Khushi a broad view of things from her vantage point.

Her story had Khushi in tears and as she dried it, Girija Devi stood up to leave. She told Khushi that she has one more week of probation. She needed to think of her future and decide whether she was inclined to stay there or not. Khushi turned her ashen-face towards Girija Devi as the lady smiled and said, deciding to stay is not difficult. But living with her decision will be difficult. Saying so, she walked away, leaving Khushi to ponder what she really wanted. What Girija Devi meant was not to limit her vision to the present but think about the future with far-sightedness that may not be perceived by the naked-eye at a glance,as any decision she makes affects her future too. She has to cross the Rubicon and the decision has to be made wisely as it is an irreversible decision and with action comes the consequences, be it good or the bad.

Both Arnav and Khushi have their own perspective of how they want their life to be and funnily they coincide. Before Arnav was adamant and right now Khushi is so. With the talk from Girija Devi making sense to her, that one has to live each day to its fullest and that fullest is with the person whom you love and is your soulmate without whom you have difficulty to breathe. Khushi's perspective that was clouded with defiance and pain was penetrated by Girija Devi's talk.

That is why this update is titled PERSPECTIVE.

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or   rejoice because thorn bushes have roses"
                              ~ Abraham Lincoln

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.