144. OS: 6: An Unwanted Wife (Part 13-)

Section 13

Khushi looked at ASR, holding a tray in her hands. He was watering his plants. Should she ask him about being blackmailed in to marriage? And about the lady on his arm?

Her heart quailed.

What would she do if he admitted he loved that lady? That he had married her under duress and was tolerating her because he didn’t want a scandal?

She would have to leave.

She was ready to leave. She had no desire to spoil his life by hanging on to a man who wanted to be free of her. But she wanted to leave with dignity.

 She did not want to weep and wail.

 She did not want him to accept her out of pity.

 If she asked him uncomfortable questions and he gave truthful answers, then she would break down. She would be left with nothing, not even her dignity or control. She wanted to avoid that at all cost.

 All she had was her self-respect and she couldn’t surrender that too.

His family had no reason to lie among themselves. So the blackmail marriage was a certainty. The lover part was true too. She had seen him with the lady with her own eyes. Her silent departure would be a kindness to him, she decided. He could get on with his life once she was out of it. And she...

She swallowed hard, trying to keep her tears at bay.

She walked in to the garden with the tea and set the tray on his table.

“Khushi,” he smiled fondly at her. “Come here.”

She walked to him reluctantly.

“Here,” he pointed to a dozen pots with rose bushes.

She stared at them silently.

“Roses,” he said.

She nodded.

“Look closely at the third pot. There is a bud hidden behind the leaves,” he invited.

She bent to see a red bud.

“It will bloom in a couple of days, your red rose,” he smiled, anticipating her excited squeals and at least a couple of her warm hugs that had been conspicuous by their absence in the last couple of days.

Khushi stood frozen, numb. The bud seemed to mock her innocent dreams of a happy married life with her husband, remind her of the blind fool she had been.

ASR stared at his wife. Her face was drawn, grim. What had happened to his Khushi?

He set down the can, moved towards her and held her gently by her shoulders.

“Khushi, look at me,” he said softly.

She met his eyes, her own bleak with grief.

“What happened at the movies? Did you see something that hurt you?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Did Nani, Mami, Di or Payal say something to hurt you?” he asked urgently. If they had, he would deal with them.

She shook her head.

ASR drew in a deep breath. “Then what happened to you? Why aren’t you smiling any longer? Why aren’t you happy, Khushi?” he asked.

She looked down.

ASR gently folded her in his arms, his body and soul eager for her touch, for the feel of her warm softness against his cold hardness.

“Khushi,” he broached the topic gently. “Are you upset that Payal is pregnant and you aren’t?”

 Shocked, she placed her head against his shoulder, trying to hide her face.

He gently ruffled her hair. “Our marriage happened suddenly, Khushi. Both of us...we were not prepared for it. I wanted us to settle in, get used to the fact that we are married before starting a physical relationship. I wanted us to know each other, adjust to the changed circumstances...” he tried to explain, find words to express the sense of guilt he had felt when she had showered him with love.

‘He is tying so hard to accept me in his life,’ Khushi thought, ‘even though his heart longs for another.’

“It is a sacrifice, isn’t it, Arnavji?” Khushi asked softly, her voice not entirely steady.

“Sacrifice?” he asked, alarmed.

“You gave up your freedom to marry me,” she said softly, lifting her head and moving away.

He stared at her.

“Arnavji, I was thinking, you are thirty years old this year. Why didn’t you marry before?” she asked.

He swallowed hard. If he told her the truth about his sordid past and his parents, he would have to explain how opposed he had been to marrying her and the role his family had played in forcing the wedding. It would hurt Khushi to know that he hadn’t wanted to marry her.

“I was busy, Khushi. Working...making money...building the firm...” he said lightly, hoping that it would satisfy her.

“Why did you marry me, Arnavji? I..I am young...too young. And I am from Lucknow, not Delhi. Did Babuji insist on a double wedding?” she asked.

He drew in a deep breath. What could he tell her? He couldn’t even tell her that he had seen her photo and picked her. He had thrown her photo away without even bothering to slit the envelope open!

“I don’t know what Babuji insisted on. It was time..” he began. “I mean, Nani wanted me to marry. She fell sick. So I thought it was the right time...” He could feel sweat beading his forehead.

So he had refused to marry her. Nani had pretended sickness to force his hand. He, feeling guilty, had agreed to the marriage without even meeting the girl, she realised.

“Why are you asking such questions, Khushi?” he asked.

“I..I was curious,” she whispered.

He cupped her face in his palms.

“Khushi, forget the past. We are married now and we have to live with it,” he stressed, praying earnestly that she wouldn’t ask more questions about how their wedding came about.

“You are a good husband, Arnavji,” she whispered.

He looked at her, something in her face giving birth to fear in his heart.

“But I am a better wife,” she continued. "I will never let you be unhappy."

Section 14

ASR strode to Nani’s room. Mami and Di were sitting with her. He entered the room and closed the door.

“Kya hua, Chotey?” Di asked, the stern look on his face scaring her.

“What did you tell Khushi?” he asked directly, his eyes burning.

“Tell Khushiji?” Di looked perplexed. She shared confused glances with Nani and Mami and then said, “Nothing.”

“Then why is she asking questions about how our marriage came about?” he asked, furious.

“We have no idea, Chotey,” Nani said earnestly.

“You never do,” ASR bit out. “All you can see are your whims and fancies. You don’t give a damn how your demands affect the lives of others,” he fumed. “You tied an innocent girl to a man like me, a man who is older than his years, who has seen more tragedies than four men put together.”

“Chotey,” Di tried to protest.

“Do you have any bloody idea what you have done to her? Do you?” he shouted. “How dare you play with her life, push her around like a toy?”

Khushi stepped on the edge of her dupatta and stopped outside Nani’s room to straighten the piece of cloth around her neck.

Laxmiji pushed open the door with her head and slipped in to Nani’s room, thereby letting Khushi hear ASR’s roar.

“You wanted your grandsons married. And so you played with my life, my feelings. You forced a girl on me, a stranger. Do you have any idea, any bloody idea how difficult it is to manage things?” ASR asked, his piercing eyes and pithy words tearing in to the ladies.

“You have manipulated me for the last time. No more. I don’t care if you are sick or dying. I am not getting caught in your tricks and your emotional blackmail any more,” he declared.

“Arnav bitwaa,” Mami tried.

“I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, choosing my life and life partner. I don’t need your help. Stay out of my life and mind your own business,” ASR exploded.

Khushi moved away on shaking limbs. ASR stormed out of the room, leaving behind three shocked ladies.

Section 15

ASR looked at Khushi’s face as she slept. She looked pale, exhausted.

Whta was happening between them? he wondered. Things had been progressing slowly but surely. He had managed to control himself in her presence, exercised superhuman control as she hugged and kissed him. He had taken care not to scare her with his ardour and need for her, hoping that with time she would open her heart for him.

Why was she avoiding him now?

She shifted restlessly. Her hand reached out for him. He moved closer to her. In her sleep, her fingers latched on to the hem of his T-shirt.

“Arnavji,” she whispered.

“Khushi,” he soothed her, gently running his hand over her hair.

‘Amma, Babuji and Buaji will reach Delhi at noon tomorrow,’ he thought. ‘Maybe that will perk Khushi up.’

The Guptas reached Shantivan at noon to a rapturous welcome.

 Payal hugged them and they hugged her, laughing, expressing their joy in her pregnancy. Buaji gave her a big bin of laddoos she had made specially for Payal.

Khushi hugged them.

“Tum theek ho, Sanka Devi?” Buaji asked, hugging her back.

“Fine, Buaji,” she said.

“You have not caused any problem here, have you, Khussi?” Amma asked.

“No, Amma,” she replied.

“Are you happy, Khushi?” Babuji asked.

She nodded, hugging him again.

ASR stood watching them, hoping, praying that Khushi would recover her spirits at the sight of her family.

“It is good that both sisters have married in to the same family, Nandkisore!” Buaji said, settling down on a chair.

“Yes, Jiji,” Amma smiled. “Khussi can take care of Payaliyya.”

“Yes, Payaliyya will need help in the coming months,” Buaji smiled.

The Raizadas smiled in agreement, all except for Arnav.

ASR stood at the window of his room, looking out at the pool. He had heard that Khushi was an orphan, adopted by her aunt. He hadn’t realised the fine difference in the way both girls were treated by the Guptas till he had witnessed it first hand. They weren’t unkind to Khushi, but they were more focused on Payal.

 Everything was for Payal, even Khushi.

Payal was perfect, Khushi the troublemaker.

He frowned. How come they didn’t spare a thought to Khushi’s feelings?

After a few more moments of thought, he called Aman.

“Fix an appointment with a good architect, Aman,” he said.

“Yes, Sir.”

“I am going to build a third floor here so that your Bhabhi and I can have some privacy,” he admitted.

A big smile bloomed on Aman’s face. “That is a brilliant idea, Sir. Bhabhiji will be able to spend time with your family and you will still be able to lead an independent life.”

“Yes.”

Section 16 

“Khushi was planning to visit you in Lucknow,” ASR said softly to the Guptas. He wanted to judge their reactions.

“Visit us?” Buaji frowned. “Why, Nandkisore? She should be with Payaliyya at this crucial time, not travelling up and down.”

“Your home is here, Khussi,” Amma smiled. “Not in Lucknow anymore.”

Khushi smiled faintly.

“Titliyya, don’t fight with Arnav babua and come to Lucknow. We will send you back by the next train,” Buaji laughed.

Khushi looked down at her plate.

“What will the neighbours say? A suhaagan’s home is where her husband is,” Amma added.

“Maybe she was missing you,” ASR suggested slowly.

Buaji sighed. “We miss her too. We miss Payaliyaa and Khussi. The house is silent without them. But how can we sit hugging them in Lucknow, bitwaa? They should have lives of their own.”

ASR looked down at his plate. The Guptas were not unkind to Khushi. They just were not very interested in her. Why had she been so eager to meet them?

Khushi shut the door and turned to look at Amma, Buaji and Babuji.

“Amma, Buaji, I want to return to Lucknow with you,” she began.

All stared at her.

“Why?” Buaji asked.

“I am not happy here,” she said.

Amma sighed. “Did Arnav bitwaa scold you? You must have irritated him.” The crime, the judgement and the sentence were fixed in seconds.

“Amma, Arnavji did not want to get married. Naniji, Di and Mami lied to him and forced him in to marrying me,” she confessed, feeling her heart break again at the very thought.

There was silence as the Guptas processed this new information.

“When a marriage has to be fixed, many underhand methods are used by elders, Khussi. Naniji wanted her grandson to marry. Arnav bitwaa did not want to marry. So she forced him. What is new about that? Do you think all the weddings we have seen have been entered in to with the full approval of the bride and the groom? Yeh sab chalta rehta he, Khussi,” Garima shook her head at Khushi’s naivety.

“Arnav bitwaa came to marry you. We married you off in a public function. Now you are his responsibility, Nandkisore, not ours. Learn to adjust with him,” Buaji advised her.

“Khushi,” Babuji called.

She knelt by him.

“Is he cruel to you?” Babuji asked.

“No,” she replied immediately.

“Does he hit you?” Buaji asked.

Khushi was astonished. “Never!” she exclaimed.

“Is he a drunkard? A gambler?” Babuji asked.

“Of course not!” Khushi replied.

“Is he cruel to you?” Amma asked.

“No,” she stressed.

“Is he a miser?” Buaji asked.

“No,” Khushi said. “He showers gifts on me.”

Then what are you complaining about, Parmeswari?” Buaji asked.

Khushi was silenced. How could she tell them about Arnavji’s girlfriend? That would lower him in her family’s eyes. She couldn’t do that to him.

“Khussi, look at Payaliyya and learn from her. See how happy she is with Akass bitwaa. How come you create problems wherever you go?” Amma asked.

Babuji said, “Khushi, Arnav bitwaa is not a child. If he came to the mandap to marry you, he was ready for marriage, agreeable to taking on your responsibility. So don’t fight with him. Look after him with love. With time, all your problems will vanish.”

Khushi wanted to lie down on the floor and beat her arms and legs and have a royal tantrum. But the only purpose it would serve was to get Buaji to twist her ear.

She was stuck. And Arnavji was stuck with her.

Section 17

“Khushi, come out with me for dinner?” ASR asked.

 The Guptas had left and Khushi looked pale and dispirited.

She opened her mouth to refuse, but ASR said, “I won’t take no for an answer, Khushi.”

She looked at him. He gave her a gift-wrapped packet. “Wear this?” he asked.

She sighed as she dressed for the night out. The Guptas did not want her. She couldn’t stay in Delhi. Where could she go? She had no home, no friend, no refuge... How could she plague Arnavji?

ASR looked his fill of her. She looked beautiful in the anarkali he had designed for her. She had left her hair down and she looked like a princess.

Arnav parked before the exclusive hotel.

“Here?” Khushi asked, feeling her limbs tremble at the sight of the scene of the crime.

“Yes, they have  a good restaurant here with adequate private dining spaces,” he replied. “Kya hua, Khushi?”

“N..nothing,” she whispered.

“You look beautiful,” he said throatily.

She said nothing.

“We are meeting a special person tonight,” he said.

Khushi heard nothing. She was too busy trying not to faint.

ASR held her hand as he led her in to the restaurant. A uniformed attendant led them to a sheltered space with a table set for three.

Their guest was already waiting for them. The lady with lush, dark hair. She was sitting with her back to them.

Khushi halted. Her feet refused to move an inch forward. Her eyes  stared at Arnavji’s girlfriend in horror. Her heart threatened to go on strike. This was a moment out of her worst nightmare.

“Khushi?” Arnav asked.

The lady turned around.

Khushi felt her head spin.

Section 18