10. Dil Tadap Tadapke Kah Raha He




Arnav: Dil tadap tadap ke keh raha hai aa bhi ja
Tu humse aankh na chura, tujhe kasam hai aa bhi ja
Khushi: Dil dhadak dhadak ke de raha hai yeh sadaa
Tumhari ho chuki hoon main, tumhare paas hoon sadaa
This song from 'Madhumati' seems to say it all.

Arnav walks up n down his room like a wounded bear, restless after the mandir scene in which he successfully & unwittingly proved to Khushi & the world how much he loves her. ASR going to a temple without his Di forcing him to.Carrying bandage in his pocket. Hiding behind his glasses. Racing into the temple courtyard, & then walking in a controlled manner up the steps. And he gets his prize. Khushi smiling as the dupatta circles her head. The dupatta falls off her face & she looks into his eyes hidden by the glasses. He pulls them off to see her more clearly, forgetting that his heart is in his eyes. Then his soft 'Khushi' & 'Tumhe', his hurt when she tries to refuse his help, & his unwillingness to hear her turn his words against him. Searching for her wound & forcibly dressing it while the whole world stares at this odd couple. Looking at her dumbstruck face, knowing very well that his actions are those of a crazy man. Mad one moment & melting the next. Hoping that she won't ask uncomfortable questions. And Khushi, being Khushi, asks Aap kya chahte hai humse...If only he could answer her honestly. Arnav stands in front of her, his actions inexplicable, his emotions raw, his arms down. But he does not have to lose face. He is protected by her Innocence. He can't lose face. So he pushes her away, repeats his oft-said statements about his lack of belief in God, about making his own kismat etc in a disinterested manner, & reaches home to wear the carpet down.His dimag has always been a mess around Khushi, going on long & short holidays in her presence. His Dil decides to make its demand for Khushi vociferously. Hence the deep breaths, the restlessness, the pain ...in short, Dil Tadap Tadap... His dimag feels the loss of the limelight n makes a late appearance leading to the Lady Macbeth scene. Bechara falls asleep in the midst of the dil-dimag bout and gets up remembering Khushi's departure scene. Dil wins. A knockout.
His family is made up mostly of Khushi lovers who express their love for her loud & clear. The heart that loves & knows her the most can't express its love and has to listen to the rest of them glorifying her cheerfulness, missing her, wanting to see her etc.
Control is beyond him. He shouts angrily at the others, She is gone. Subtext: I have sent her away again. I won't get to see her again. I won't be able to see her smile. I won't be around when something hurts her. I can't bear this. I want to see her. I miss her. I'll bring her back. Kidnap her. How dare she go away from me? Doesn't she know how much I am dying inside for her? Will I never see her again? A world without Khushi...
Tu humse aankh na chura, tujhe kasam hai aa bhi ja In Laxmi Nagar lives his princess in body, but with him always in soul & spirit. He occupies her mind & heart. No one else can even hope to get in. He has entered her heart, never to leave it. He is a part of her.
Tumhari ho chuki hoon main, tumhare paas hoon sadaa.