31. I Can't Believe I Fell in Love With You


Dedicated to Bunny_Bear and Sivaranjani. Thanks for your help!



"So you are a thief too.", Arnav bit out, his head spinning.

Shyam's raksha dhaga hanging from the handle of his wardrobe, Khushi & Shyam's absence from that night's function, Shyam handing over Khushi's hanky to him saying with a sly smirk on his face that she had dropped it in his car, Khushi's stubborn refusal to answer his questions about her whereabouts during the prize giving ceremony...all of it pricked him like a thousand thorns, tipped with poison.

"Thief?...How?...What?...I told you that Naniji gifted this set of jewels to me...I did not steal anything...a thief...?", Khushi stammered, wounded by his accusation.

Arnav's lips twisted in a cruel smile. So she was determined to pretend to be innocent. An evil, immoral witch with the face of an angel. With honey-filled words that could melt the heart of the listener.

"Cheating people with your words, smiles...pretense of l..love...while you don't care how much you hurt others...how much you deceive people who trust you...stealing the happiness of others...peace of mind...If it were up to me, you wouldn't breathe the same air that my family does." Arnav voiced his anguish at having his sweetest dream shatter into a million pieces.

Khushi stared at him, dumbfounded, hurt beyond words.

"Don't think you can hurt my family. You can never reach them, because I will be standing between them and you. A thief...a cheat...a liar...I am sick of the sight of your face. When I think of having to see it for 6 months...". Arnav fumed, wrath at her treachery towards Di and pain at her daring to love someone other than him eating him up.

Khushi stood staring, silenced by the accusations & abuse hurled at her. Arnavji was calling her a thief, a cheat, a liar? The man who found and kept her Amma's payal, who helped her when Babuji was in the hospital, who playacted with her to get Jiji & Jijaji together, who joined her on stage twice to save her from humiliation...who died a thousand deaths when he thought she was hurt...who loved her, but stopped himself from expressing it...who didn't trust her...who wanted to hurt her...control her...imprison her in a marriage of 6 months even when he didn't want to be married to her...What was happening to her? What was happening to him? Why was he like this?

"Maybe I should ask Di to count the silver when you leave after 6 months, Khushi Kumari Gupta...Don't think that you can take anything from here...My eyes will be on you..."

"I can't believe...that I fell in love with YOU...", she whispered, tears falling in a silent stream down her pale cheeks.

Arnav stood shocked, terrified that he had misheard, scared that he had heard what he wanted to hear...

Khushi clutched him by his shoulders, and hissed into his face. "Each time...every time...you hurt me, I tried...oh, so hard to stay away...to forget...to push you out of my mind...to move on with my life..to make my family happy even if I was miserable...to pretend it didn't matter...to smile..and smile...and smile...when I was dying inside...thinking of you all the time...going to sleep with your name on my lips, dreaming of you, waking up calling your name...and I tried to fight it...pretend it didn't matter when you ripped my heart into pieces..."

She shook him, her hold on his shoulders tightening with the intensity of her suffering. "I can't believe it...each time I thought you hated me, you threw a crumb of affection at me...and I believed you...I fell for your tricks...and then you shred me into little bits for your amusement...You like it, don't you, when I cry? When I am helpless against you? When I am in your control? You rakshas...you enjoy my pain, don't you? Why? Does it make you feel powerful? Satisfy your big ego?"

"To fall in love for the first time in my life...that too with a heartless monster...what a fate!...Devi Maiyya must be laughing...", she panted, pushing Arnav away. "You don't deserve to be loved...you know only to hurt those who love you...to hurt them till they cry tears of blood...wish to die rather than live in pain..."

"You don't want to see my face, do you?", she asked in a low voice, tired, exhausted, fed up. " Don't then. Don't look at me. I won't look at you either. I won't talk to you. I won't share a room with you...I wish...I wish to God that I had never met you...never loved you..never married you..."

Arnav stood, his limbs refusing to move, his throat and chest too choked to call her to him, watching her take her pillow & blanket and move to the poolside. At the door, she turned her head to look at him once, and then passed through, sliding the door shut after her. The soft click seemed as loud and final as a bang. He stood in his room, locked out of her world, watching helplessly as she lay down to sleep.

He slowly made his way to the recliner, trying to process and make sense of all that had happened that evening. He heard Khushi saying that she loved him, again and again in his mind. Khushi loved him? Khushi loved him! Inspite of everything that he had said and done...she loved him. If she loved him, then nothing mattered. He could sort out Shyam and a hundred other problems with ease.

He walked to the shut glass door, and looked out at Khushi, sleeping in the moonlight. Like a child outside a candy store, looking in...like someone always left out in the cold alone, denied the comfort of the hearth...He opened the door and knelt beside her. To carry her inside or join her outside? It was a balmy night, and she looked tired, in need of sleep. There was no need to disturb her. He slowly made a place for himself under her blanket, and lay, resting his head on her pillow, looking at her sweet face.

A strand of hair had fallen across her face. He gently smoothed it away, tucking it behind her ear. Feeling the familiar touch of his fingers, her lips twitched in a gentle smile, and in her sleep, she murmured, "Arnavji..."

Arnav looked at her, and remembered every one of the numerous times that he had misunderstood her and hurt her...and died a little...He burrowed his face into her neck...

Khushi woke to the feel of warm, salty tears on her neck and Arnavji seeking succour in her arms. Her arms tightened around him, and she dropped a kiss on his hair. His arms tightened around her.

"I am sorry...sorry...sorry...Khushi..so sorry..."

"Sshh..."

"I wanted to tell you...how much...I care..."

"Sshh...I know.."

"Khushi..."

"Sleep now. We can talk tomorrow."

The stars shone bright over Arnav and Khushi, sleeping soundly for the first time in many days.