32. Don't Leave Me Alone


 Khushi stared at Arnav, unable to believe all that had happened in the last couple of hours.

He had finally told her about his suspicions regarding her & Shyam, why he had forced her into a temporary marriage, how Shyam had lied about Khushi being in love with him, how he had believed it, how he had watched Khushi & Shyam over the months and slowly realised that Shyam may not be speaking the truth. She had reacted badly. She had screamed and shouted and cried to let out her pain and disbelief. She had told him the entire truth of Shyam and his relationship with the Guptas, her engagement to that scoundrel, how she had discovered the truth, and how she had tried to tell Anjali & failed. Arnav had been overpowered by anger towards Shyam and shame at his unpardonable behaviour towards Khushi. He had taken her anger silently, put up with her trying to shake him by the shoulders, gone along when she had pushed him to stand against the wall while she had cried her sorrow out. He had taken it all, hoping against hope that her well of grief would dry up. It had taken one hour for her sobs to reduce to hiccups.

They sat silently in their bedroom, Arnav on his recliner and Khushi on her bed, looking at each other, trying to take in the changed circumstances.

"Khushiji...come down..."Anjali called. "Your Amma & Buaji have come to visit you."

Khushi got up from the bed. She felt cold. She moved towards the door on shaking legs, and braced herself with a hand on the door.

"Khushi...". Arnav did not want her to leave the room before they had voiced all their pain and anguish...before she had expressed all her disappointment and ire...before he had revealed his regret and remorse, before she had calmed down and ... forgiven him...He wanted to keep her in his room...forever.

Khushi paused at the threshold for a moment, and then walked out of the room.

After half an hour of wearing down the carpet in his bedroom, Arnav went down to meet his wife's family...whom he had wronged...humiliated. He felt ashamed to receive their smiling greetings. He looked at Khushi, sitting still, a permanent smile drawn on her lips, silent among the laughter and animated conversation between Nani, Di, Mami, Mama, Payal, Buaji, & Amma. Nani and Di had nothing but good to say about Payal and Khushi. Mamaji was full of praise for them. Even Mami smiled at the Guptas, albeit grudgingly.

Khushi served tea along with Payal, and brushed away an enquiry about her drawn face with the excuse of a headache. As the Guptas got up to leave, Khushi suddenly asked, "Naniji, may I go with Amma & Buaji? I would like to spend a couple of days at home."

Nani smiled her consent, but turned to look at Arnav for confirmation. Khushi was his wife, after all. He had the final word about everything related to his wife. And he was very possessive. Possessive to the point of being ridiculous. Just like his Nanaji...

Arnav was caught, stuck...He had no other option but to nod his head. How could he refuse his wife permission to go to her home...her previous home...especially when her family and his were looking expectantly at him. He came out of his musings when he heard Payal expressing disappointment at not being able to accompany Khushi. Akash and she had something planned for the evening, and she did not want to disappoint him.

Helpless, he stood watching the Guptas move towards the door of his house, taking his wife with them. At the open door, Khushi who was the last to leave, turned and looked once at Arnav.

Just as she had done months ago, while leaving after handing over her resignation to him. He felt a sense of crippling loss, panic rising like a tsunami wave, threatening to destroy him. He clenched his fists and swallowed hard. She left...Di hugging her, Payal hugging her, Nani blessing her and hugging her...as though she were leaving for good.



(Thanks a lot, Shruti_P, for the pic)


"Chotey...Kya Hua? Are you alright?", Anjali asked, seeing him stand immobile in the hallway, staring at the now closed front door.

"Haan", he muttered, and turned and went up the steps to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut, and leaned against it, his head resting against the warm wood, his breath coming in short spurts. He felt as though his breath would stop, as though a heavy boulder had been placed over his chest...He started pacing the floor like a caged animal. Khushi...Khushi...How could she leave him?...He sat on his recliner, twisting his fingers, anxious, disturbed...He got up and went to her part of the bed, covered in pink, and sat down heavily. He caught hold of her blanket, and clenched his fingers around it, searching for comfort. Soon he buried his face in her pillow, searching for her jasmine scent and finding it. He breathed her in, deep, his lungs full...Darkness spread its cloak over his garden, clasping him and his pain to its bosom. He slept.

He woke up with a start. Di was banging on his door, summoning him for dinner. He went down, pushed food around on his plate, and returned to his room to have his medicine. He tried sitting in front of the laptop, to let work, his ever demanding mistress charm his mind away from his wife, but ... He pushed the laptop aside, and went back to her bed, his head resting on her pillow, drawing comfort from her scent.

Would that be all he would be left with? Would she return in two days...two days, she had said...If she did not return in two days? If she extended her stay for more days?...If she refused to return at all...

He jumped up from his bed, searching for his phone. He tried calling Khushi again...and again...and again... She was not available. He tried the phone at the Guptas, pressing the wrong buttons twice in his panic. He finally got Buaji on the phone.

"This is Arnav...err...Is Khushi there?..."

Buaji smiled. New Love and all that...It reminded her of her husband and her some thirty years back...

"I don't know why, Bitwaa...The moment Titliyaa got here, she said she wanted to sleep...that she was feeling tired...", Buaji teased, as though Arnav hadn't been letting Khushi sleep at nights while she was at his home...

Arnav, unused to being the target of such comments, stammered, "I..I will call h..her later."

It was nine at night. He started to count the hours to the morning. And then to the end of two days. Too many hours...How was he going to...He went out into his garden and tried to water the plants. The pool where she had washed her clothes to bug him...What was that song? Yes, Kya Dhoop Nikali he Suhana...What the What the...Something about Kapade Dhone Ka Bahana...He smiled. Her colourful clothes decorating the sides of his pool, hung out to dry. The battle for the bathroom...her TV watching...her habit of walking on the bed while arguing with business associates, her papers spread out on the bed and the room...the chappals and colourful clothes in his wardrobe...his poor shirts must have had a heart attack when they had encroached into their space. Just as he had almost had one when she had fallen into his arms at the fashion show in Lucknow like a gift from the Gods, if Gods existed at all.

He strode into the bedroom, swished open his wardrobe and gazed his fill at her suits in all colours of the rainbow. He touched them tenderly, as though they could feel his touch. He brought them close to his heart for a moment, wishing they were her. Then his eyes fell on her notebook, the one in which she was always scribbling something or the other. He opened it, his fingers flicking the pages.

His laughter filled his room and his heart. He laughed till his eyes filled with tears. This was it. He could not do without her...

Arnav Singh Raizada, the ASR, the lion whose stern mien made employees and businessmen quake in their shoes and impeccable behaviour impressed the hell out of even his enemies, slowly made his way into his wife's bedroom through an open window.

She was wearing a pink suit that he hadn't seen before, the pink of her suit put to shame by the rosy flush of her cheeks. Her dupatta was abandoned by her side. Good. He had an allergy to her dupattas. They spoilt the view.

He sat on the bed by her side, and gently touched her right cheek. She opened her eyes, and seeing him, sat up straight in alarm, falling right into his arms that were open to receive her. He held her close to him, tight, his right cheek against hers, her unbound hair caressing his face in the wind.

"How...aap...what...why...?", Khushi asked very intelligently.

"Khushi...come home with me..."
"Home...Nahin...I..."
"I know that you are very angry with me...It is OK...You can shout and scold...but come home with me..."
"Aap..."
"Khushi, don't leave me alone...don't go away from me...We can fight and shout in our room...between ourselves...Don't take it outside...Don't go away from me...Do you have any idea...any idea...how much Laxmi misses you?"

"Laxmi?"
"Laxmi...and Nani...and Di...and me..."
"Aap?"
"Yes...Khushi, come with me...to our home..."
"Yes..."


(Thanks a million, Shruti_P, for the pic)


He led her out of the room, explaining to an astonished Buaji & Amma that he was taking Khushi home. His red face belied his firm, steady tone. As the door closed behind them, Buaji fell on to a chair laughing, the leg breaking under the pressure. Amma giggled, her mouth hidden by her hand.

Arnav helped Khushi in to the seat. As he was about to shut the door, she asked, "Arnavji, how did you get into the house?"
Arnav paused.
"What did you call me?"
"Arnavji..." She replied, hesitantly, having called him everything other than this in her anger that day.
Arnav swooped down and kissed her ear in reward, before circling the car and settling into his seat with a sigh of relief.

"How did you get in?" , she asked after a while.
"Through the open window of your bedroom."
Her open laughter filled the car and his heart. He dropped another kiss on her soft, warm, sleep-flushed cheek.

Khushi was with him. Now he could breathe. Now everything was fine with the world. His world.